Madness

[Mad_Scientist]

(OOC: This is a RP thread detailing and expanding upon the background of my character Alan (http://www.bleachasylum.com/showthread.php?p=451309#post451309). It is set about 2 years before the present time, and at this point Alan is recently deceased, and not yet a Hollow.)

"Impossible."

No matter how many times Alan told himself that, no matter how many times he opened and closed his eyes, pinched himself, or shook his head, he could not change what was before him. He was looking at himself from the outside, as though he was having an out-of-body experience of some sort. And what made this especially disturbing was that his body didn't look very good: it's neck was twisted in a very unpleasant fashion. As much as he tried to deny it, it looked like Alan was staring at his own corpse.

"What had happened?" Alan tried to remember. He had been having lunch with a possible future business partner, a man named Haru. It was a nice day, and the two of them headed towards a nearby park to continue their discussions. And then things had started to turn unpleasant. They got into an argument over some of the finer details, and from some of the comments Haru made, Alan suspected that he was actually a bit of a racist, and therefore disliked Alan because he wasn't a native Japanese. Alan had started to storm off in anger, Haru ran up to him and grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving, and then...

Alan looked at the hill the two of them had fallen down when Haru lost his footing. A tiny hill. No one could die from such an insignificant thing. The chance of suffering anything more than bruises would be absurdly low. The idea of actually dieing from such a short tumble was utterly ridiculous. That's what Alan told himself. But now Haru had gotten up and was shaking Alan's body with a panicked look on his face, screaming for a help, yelling something about calling an ambulance.

"NO!!" Alan fled. He was still young, only 28. He had a nice job, a comfortable home, and a wonderful wife. He couldn't die now, especially not in such a pathetic way. He wouldn't accept such a thing. As he ran, he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going, and therefore he stumbled and fell once again, this time in death. With that, he realized that even if he was dead, he could still feel pain.

As he pushed himself up off the ground, he noticed the odd chain for the first time. He finally took a good look at his "ghost", or whatever he was. He looked pretty much like he did before, except for the chain stuck to his chest. Looking at that chain, what flashed through Alan's mind was the fate of poor Jacob Marley in the old story about Scrooge: forced to forever wander the earth in chains, able to only watch the happiness of others, unable to share in it.

A young girl and her mother were walking in the part at that time. "Mommy, do you hear that? I hear someone screaming."

"Don't worry honey, it's just the wind."

[Mad_Scientist]

Alan had now accepted the fact that he was dead. By accepted, that meant that he no longer was convinced he was dreaming or hallicinating. He still felt rather lost and confused, though. Of all the legends and stories about ghosts and the afterlife that he had heard, he couldn't think of a single one that really fit his current situation.

He wandered around the park without much real purpose for a while, trying to figure out the limitations of his new "body". Not surprisingly, no one could see or hear him, though he almost thought that one little girl had been aware of him for a second. Touching people also seemed to have little effect. He even tried pushing on a man with all his strength, and nothing happened. Well, that may not have been entirely true. The man acted like he might have felt a faint breeze: Alan wasn't certain whether he had noticed his presence or not. Maybe Alan just needed to get stronger, but how exactly did a spirit increase its strength?

Alan begain to make his way home. It was getting fairly late in the evening, and by now his wife would have certainly learned the news of his death. At the thought of Ninian, Alan felt a sudden surge of sadness. If he waited at their home he would be able to see her, but he would be unable to communicate with her in any way. And what was he to do as time went by? Follow her around and haunt her?

Even though his mind was not in the most clear state at the moment, Alan did realize that there was something odd about things. With the countless number of people who had died throughout history, there should be tons of spirits all around him. Yet there were none. No one talked to him, and no one provided him with any guideance. Perhaps spirits couldn't be seen even by each other... but that thought was not one Alan wanted to contemplate.

** 2 months later **

Alan stood by Ninian's bedside, watching her sleep. She was stirring quite a bit, and had a sad look on her face. "Perhaps a bad dream?" Alan reached down to stroke her cheek and comfort her, fully aware that she wouldn't feel a thing. He wanted to scream at the frustration of it all. During the time immediately after his death, when Ninian had been highly distraught, Alan had nearly gone mad trying to speak with her. Even now, the fact that he was so utterly powerless tormented him.

He had learned a few things since his death. For one thing, sometimes people could notice him. No one had ever seen him clearly, but on occasion people had stared at him for a bit, only to rub their eyes and move on. In addition, people would at times perk up their ears and listen closely after he said something, though in this case also they'd soon move on and seem once again completely unaware of him. It happened with Ninian most often, though whether that was because of something special about her and her connection with Alan, or simply because he was with her all the time, Alan didn't know.

He had also learned that he wasn't alone. Last week, Ninian had visited a small figurine shop, and there Alan had met another spirit. Takumi he had called himself, and he had apparently been dead for longer than Alan. The two had a somewhat pleasant but odd chat.

Suddenly, a horrible roaring sound reached Alan's ears. "Not again!" He found himself crouched down in the corner, cowering. This sound, this horrible sound, was something he had heard only a couple times since his death. He didn't know what it was, but it scared him more than anything he had experienced in his life. And the worst thing about it was that those who were alive seemed unable to hear it...

[Mad_Scientist]

*2 weeks later*

For the first time in a month, Alan decided to leave Ninian's side, at least for a little while. As much as he loved her, he could find little comfort in being near her anymore. Rather, he was growing increasingly frustrated with his inability to interact with her in any meaningful way. His anger after his failed attempts to do so was actually starting to scare him a little. He therefore decided that he would visit the other spirit he had met, Takumi, as being able to actually talk to someone would be nice, and hopefully relieve some of his frustration.

But as Alan left Ninian, he felt a strange pain in his chest, right where that annoying chain was attached. It was a horrible, tearing pain. It felt as if he the chain was pulling him towards Ninian. This feeling subsided after a bit, but his chest continued to ache faintly all the way to the figurine shop. Perhaps he should ask Takumi if he knew anything about it.

"Hello? Takumi, it's me, Alan. You here?" Alan looked around the shop, but the only people he saw were a couple of potential customers looking at some shelves, and the current shop owner, an old women whom Alan knew to be Takumi's elder sister. "Takumi! Are you around?" No answer.

"Odd," Alan thought. Takumi had said he usually spent afternoons in the shop, trying to play pranks on the customers and see if he could get them to notice him. "Well, maybe he's out today. Guess I'll stay here for a bit and see if he comes back. Agh, this stupid chain is hurting again."

The pain in Alan's chest was increasing, and with it came an unexpected sense of fear. Perhaps being a spirit had given him a sixth sense of some sort, because he was becoming certain that something unpleasant had happened at the shop, and that Takumi wasn't coming back. The fear and the pain both kept rising, until they were nearly unbearable, and Alan fled the shop. He already regretted his decision to leave Ninian for even a bit.

But even after Alan stood before Ninian once again, the pain did not go away. Instead, the chain on Alan's chest began to act erratically, as though it had its own will. And it began to wrap itself around Ninian.

"What is this?! Stop! Stop!", Alan screamed, but it made no difference. The chain was soon thoroughly attached to Ninian, though she seemed completely unaware of the fact. Now, Alan would be unable to leave her side for a moment, even if he wanted to.

But wait a second, what was he unhappy about? This was better anyways... this way he and his wife would always be together, always... "Ouch! Gah, damn chest won't stop hurting, I thought it should be better now that I'm back."

[Mad_Scientist]

*2 weeks later - 3 months since Alan died*

"Stupid stupid STUPID ****ING AFTERLIFE!"

How long was Alan supposed to take this? Being literally tied to Ninian hadn't helped anything. He just regretted his death even more, if that was possible. Day and night, he thought of all the things he had wanted to experience with Ninian but was unable to now. Of all the things he wanted to tell her, but never would now.

They had only be married a little over 2 years when he died. There had both been fairly young and healthy, and expected to live a long time together. Even so, while alive, Alan had occasionally thought of what it would be like if Ninian died, and he had been left alone. But he had never even considered the possibility that him being the one to die could actually be far worse.

Alan now found himself glancing at his chest, where the chain attatched to him had opened up a strange wound. It had appeared shortly after the chain had attatched itself to Ninian, and was growing rapidly. It didn't bleed, or even show what looked like flesh inside it. From what Alan could see through the opening, it just looked hollow inside: as though it was perfectly normal for his body to have a hole in it. But whatever the nature of the wound, it really hurt.

Alan took a deep breath and screamed as loud as he could, and if his mind had been in a better condition, he might have noticed that his voice was now eerily similar to the strange cries that had so frightened him in the past. He might have wondered why his voice sounded like that of a beast.

"Answer me! God, gods, goddesses, spirits, demons, WHATEVER THE **** is OUT THERE!!!! Who is responsible for this?! Why do I have to go through this ****?! Why is being dead like this?! Answer me! Explain this wretched state of things! Why is the afterlife like this! Answer me, you ****!"

Of course, there was no answer. Aside from the one time he talked to that other spirit, no one had ever answered anything Alan had said since dieing. In one brief moment of clarity, Alan realized he must be losing it a bit, because he hardly ever swore in life. Not that it really bothered him when others did it, he just prefered not to, which turned out a good thing after meeting Ninian, because she hated foul language, and if she could hear him now she-

"If she could hear me now... hehe. She can't. She can't. She never will hear me again."

A particularly strong burst of pain came from Alan's chest at that moment, and he lost it completely. Screaming and raving, he tore at the chain attatched to him, and at the hole in his chest. He had tugged at both a little bit on a couple past occasions, but never with such violence and force. And so, as Alan clawed on the chain with all his might while spit flew from his mouth, the chain suddenly popped off, and the wound in his chest opened up completely.

Alan had about a second to look at his now disconnected chain in surprise before his body exploded.

[Mad_Scientist]

Alan's body was gone; he saw nothing, and felt nothing. Yet strangely enough, his mind was still active. "What has happened? Have I died? Again, that is. Have I somehow died after already being dead?!"

Whatever had happened, he was starting to be able to see again. Strange particles were all around him, collecting together and reforming his body. But something was wrong, his body didn't look or feel right. His news hands were like claws, for one thing. He was naked, and his entire body seemed strangely twisted and out of proportion, and was covered in some thick, disgusting looking milky white skin, for another thing. And his eyes seemed to be staring out of the eyeholes of some sort of mask.

Alan looked around him, and he was strangely unbothered by his new form. He found that he was standing just outside his old home. "Eh? How did I get outside?" He quickly ran back in, and found Ninian at the same place he had left her at. He now remembered that she had been talking to a friend on the phone. She still was, so Alan paused to listen to her side of the conversation for a bit, and at that moment Ninian laughed at something she heard her friend say.

"Hey, why are you laughing? Is it a funny joke? Tell it to me then...
...How is it you can laugh anyways? I can't, not in this state. Hey, why are you ignoring me? ANSWER ME!"

Alan reached out and swiped at Ninian, knocking her to the side. For one second, a voice in the back of his mind asked him why he was so angry, but it was soon silenced by a sudden realization: he could touch her! He wasn't just a helpless observer now, he could touch her and interact with her!

"Ninian! You felt that? Oh, I've longed for so long to be able to hold you again, this is wonderful! Ninian?" Ninian slowly rose up from the ground, feeling her side and groaning. She looked around her, rather confused. Confused, and afraid.

"You still can't see me or hear me? No, no, that isn't right. I need to change that. Wait, I can change that? Yes... yes I know how!" Alan charged right at her this time, reaching out his right arm towards her chest. He didn't fully understand what he was doing, but somehow, he knew it would let him talk to Ninian. As his arm made contact with her, another Ninian appeared suddenly, connected to the original by a familiar looking chain. And at that moment, the new Ninian, the one that could see Alan, started screaming.

"Ninian! Oh, my love, it's so good to see you again. I've wanted to talk to you so much, I've wanted to hold you. I wanted to comfort you after I died, but I could do nothing. Ninian.... why are you screaming?"

Ninian stopped, but the fear on her face didn't go away. "What... what did you say? Who are you? What are you? What did you do to me, why am I-
That thing over there, it looks like me. And I am connected to it by this chain. What does that mean?"

"Oh, the chain? That chain... I remember that. It's a bad thing, here, let me help." Alan then slashed at the chain connecting Ninian soul and body, severing it. "Better now? And Ninian, it's me, don't you know me? Alan. Your husband. Surely you didn't already forget me? I've only been dead 3 months!"

"Alan? No. That's impossible! Alan is dead, and you aren't even human. Why did you attack me?"

Alan was getting frustrated now. This wasn't right. He could finally talk to her again, and it was going like this? Why couldn't she see that it was him? Why?

"I AM ALAN! Why are you not more happy to see me?! I waited so long to be able to see you, I suffered so much, and this is how you great me!" Alan grabbed Ninian and threw he across the room. She cried out in pain after hitting the wall, and Alan felt regret. "Wait, wait, I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to do that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Forgive me, Ninian! Please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Ninian once again stood up slowly, and this time she was bleeding from a wound on her forehead. She looked at the crying monster before her, and listened to its voice. The fear on her face was soon mixed with a new type of horror.

"Take off that mask. Let me see your face. If you are who you say you are, let me see it for myself."

Alan stopped crying. Mask? What mask? Oh, that's right he had one now. He reached up and felt it, somewhat puzzled by its presence. "This thing? Take it off? I can't. I don't know why. But I just can't. Weird, huh? But I can tell, you know it's me now. That's good."

Alan rushed towards Ninian, but this time she ran to the side and dodged him. Why? He wasn't going to hurt her again, why did she think that? He just wanted to hold her. And thanks to her, he had just destroyed part of the wall near where she was standing. How stupid.

"Alan, something has happened to you. I don't know how or why, but please, be careful. You've hurt me, and if you don't restrain yourself, you could kill me. Alan-"

"SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME?!!! OF COURSE!! I DIED!!!" Why was he so angry, he wondered, as he flew at Ninian again, this time to fast for her to dodge. "Why are you scared of me?! Why are you frightened of me?!" Alan was biting her now, but when did his mouth get so big? When did the shape of his head become so beastlike? "I love you Ninian! I won't hurt you!" This taste in his mouth was so wonderful...

"Please... stop it... Alan..."

Ninian was quiet now, and Alan looked around the room once more. Over to the side was Ninian's body, severed chain still stuck to it. But where was Ninian's spirit? She had been right in front of him, but now, all he saw was blood and tattered clothes, and a few scraps of something he couldn't identify. Where did Ninian go?

It took a full minute before Alan remembered what he had just been doing and realized what all the blood meant.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!! No! Please God, no!" Alan screamed at clawed at his throat! He felt as though he was going to vomit, but nothing came out. "I killed her!" No, more than that, Alan realized. He had killed her spirit, and eaten it. She's not merely dead, it was worse. Alan's mask shattered, and his senses returned fully, and with them came understanding of the bizare way he had been acting. He couldn't stand to be in that bloodstained room any longer, and so he opened up a portal and fled through it.

He had acted on instinct, not knowing where he was going, and now he found himself in a place he had never seen before. It was a massive, barren wasteland. All around him were endless fields and dunes full of white sand. It was night, and above him a crescent moon provided a little light.

A disgusting, gurgling laugh came from Alan's side, and he turned around suddenly. Before him was a giant frog-like creature of some sort, one wearing the same type of mask that Alan had worn earlier. The frog seemed amused, and then began to speak.

"Wow, you're a mess. What happened, Shinigami nearly crack your skull? You got blood all over you, but you actually don't seem to injured. But wait, is that tears I see?"

The frog threw back its head and laughed. It laughed and laughed, and seemed as though it was about to die from the mirth. Finally, gasping for breath, it managed to speak again.

"Don't tell me... your mask broke by itself? I haven't seen one of those for years. It's funny. It's really funny. You're even more pathetic than I thought.

So tell me... who was it you ate?"

[Mad_Scientist]

"What did you just say?! Who are you?!"

Alan starred at the frog-like creature, utterly lost and confused. He was in a strange world, talking to a strange monster, after having somehow become a monster himself... and after having killed the woman he loved. He didn't want to talk to anybody or anything right now, he didn't want to think, but after hearing "Who was it you ate?" in that mocking voice, he could not remain silent.

The frog-like being smiled a very nasty smile. "I'll answer your second question first. I am Pus-Claw, a humble Hollow. Yes, I know the name sounds horrible, but I find it actually rather fits me. As for what I just said, I asked you who you ate?"

"Hollows? Pus-Claw? What the hell was this creature talking about?", Alan wondered. "How do you know I ate anyone?!", he demanded, but he was aware as soon as he said it that his tone of voice gave away the truth of Pus-Claw's suspicion.

"It's obvious to anyone who has been a Hollow for a while. Looking at you, I'm guessing you just became one. You should know this instinctively, but I'll tell you anyways: you are a Hollow now, a being that feeds on the souls of humans and others.

And you should know, the only times a Hollow loses his mask in the fashion you have is when he suffers a great shock. And that occurs most often after he's attacked someone close to him. Though it's actually pretty rare, even in those cases; it's been ages since I've seen it."

Alan screamed and charged at Pus-Claw, the reminder of what he had just done too much for him. But the other Hollow reached out an arm and easily knocked Alan to the side. Alan found himself half-buried in sand, but before he could get up, he felt sharp claws rake upon his back. He screamed as he felt something burning inside him. Twisting around, he saw some disgusting looking fluid dripping from the claws of his foe. The name Pus-Claw did indeed suit him.

"Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic! I hate Hollows like you! Weak, useless beings who still cling to emotions like love even after their transformation." Alan tried to move, but soon realized that he was paralyzed. "So tell me, who was it? Was it more than one person? Who was it close to you that you killed?!"

Pus-Claw grabbed Alan's head and shoved it into the ground, then twisted it sideways so that Alan could speak. While one hand held Alan in place, the other hand's claws began to slowly dig into Alan's side. "Come on now, I want to hear this. It makes me happy. Just tell me each and every person close to you who's soul you ate."

"No!", Alan yelled. The claws dug deeper into his side and twisted, and the pain became excruciating. Finally it was too much for him to bare, and he cried out, "My wife! I killed Ninian!"

"That's it?" Pus-Claw seemed disappointed. "It was only a single person? That's what got you in this state? Bah, you really are pathetic. I was hoping that you at least wiped out your whole family or something, but I guess not." He removed he claws from Alan's side and began to hop away in a bizare, almost comical fashion. "See ya, 'Ninian's husband'. Enjoy your new life. And always remember the taste of Ninian. No one else will taste so good. Those closest to you in life are the best meals."

Alan remained paralyzed for an hour. When he could finally move again, he screamed with all his might, and his mask reformed. What senses he had briefly recovered retreated once again, and Alan began to hunt. He desired only to eliminate the emptyness inside him, and his instincts told him the way to do that was to feed. And so, he returned to the human world.

He felt the air around him, not totally sure what he was doing. But then he felt it; there was a strong spirit near him. He raced through unfamilar streets towards the source, briefly becoming aware that he had re-entered the human world in downtown Tokyo. "There!" He had reached his target: it was actually two spirits, two guys who looked like brothers, standing on a street corner talking to each other. They turned towards Alan when they heard his roar, but they had little time to react. Alan toar into the first one, devouring him quickly, and then raced after the other as he fled. The poor soul could not outrun a Hollow, and soon joined his brother.

"I want more."

*2 Weeks Later*

Alan glanced down at the bloody mess before him, the only remains of the woman he had just devoured. How many had he eaten since becoming a Hollow? He had lost count. It didn't really matter to him very much, though.

He sensed something odd, and quickly doged to the side. A sword went cutting through the air where he had been just been standing, and Alan found himself facing a man wearing some sort of black robes. He looked at Alan in horror, and muttered something to himself. "I'm too late..."

"You... you're a Shinigami?", Alan asked in curiosity. He had learned about these beings, the enemies of Hollows, but he had never seen one before. But he was certain this man must be one. What other spirit would try and fight against a Hollow, or carry a sword in the first place? And this man had such a wonderful smell. Alan really wanted to eat him, so he didn't bother waiting for the guy to reply before attacking.

The Shinigami raised his sword in response to Alan's charge, but didn't expect the Hollow to run right into the blade. It stuck in Alan's side, and before the ill-fated Shinigami could move the sword further or use it to split Alan in half, Alan bit off his head. Removing the sword from his side, Alan fed gratefully. The Shinigami tasted so much better than a normal spirit.

But Alan couldn't help but hear a voice in his head, even as he ate. "Remember the taste of Ninian. No one else will taste so good."

As he finished eating the Shinigami, Alan realized something. Pus-Claw had been absolutely right.

[Mad_Scientist]

It had now been a month since Alan had become a Hollow, and he found himself bored with hunting souls normally. When a Shinigami showed up to defend one, it was more exciting, but that had only happened twice so far. Plus, the possibility of dieing, and the fear that came from that, kind of dampened the enjoyment the excitement provided.

"Of course", Alan thought, as he idly dug his claws into the human soul before him, "some of the other Hollows have said that you don't actually die when a Shinigami kills you. But even if what they say is true, you might as well be dieing. Anyways, why am I letting my thoughts wander."

Alan dedicated himself to the task at hand: tormenting the human soul he had caught. He had found it much more enjoyable to play with his food a little before eating it. This time, he was playing a rather simple game, stabbing the man repeatably, but not doing enough damage to kill him. Sometimes he'd leave his claws inside a wound and twist them around a little, just to cause a bit of extra pain.

But it seemed the prey was reaching its limits, and would die soon enough now, regardless of how careful Alan was. And he preferred his food to be relatively fresh. So playtime was over, and Alan pulled the man close and bit off half his torso with a single gulp. He finished the rest quickly, and then opened up a portal, a "garganta" he now knew it was called, and returned to Hueco Mundo.

Standing on the white sands of Hueco Mundo, Alan at first thought he was alone. But he was wrong, for a sound coming from behind him caught his attention. It was a sound seldom heard in Hueco Mundo: the sound of crying.

Turning around, Alan saw another Hollow, apparently a female from what he could tell. Her mask was gone, and she was crying, whimpering something about her children. Alan was strangely reminded of himself, when he first arrived.

On a sudden whim, he strode foward, reached out his right arm, and toar off the throat of the Hollow. She gasped briefly, clearly shocked at the sudden attack, and then sputtered and thrashed around a bit before dieing.

"Hey, why did I do that?", Alan wondered. Looking down at the blood staining his hand, he realized he had never eaten another Hollow. He licked the blood off his hand, and found it strangely satisfying. He then promptly devoured the rest of the Hollow.

He then sat down and started laughing. Why had he been wasting time going to the human world? He laughed and laughed, then decided to go look for more Hollows.

[Mad_Scientist]

Somewhere in the desert of Hueco Mundo, there was a place where the sands dipped downward into a shallow bowl shaped depression. Near the bottom of that depression was an entrance to a small chamber.

The inside of the chamber, part of a cave of some sort, was made of a milky white rock, perhaps the same substance that comprised all the sand outside. While at first glance the cave might appear small, a tunnel in the back of the first chamber led further under the sands of Hueco Mundo, into a much larger chamber. And that chamber was full of Hollows.

The cavern was a colony of sorts, a crude gathering of some 50 Hollows. The place had no name, the residents there were only moderately organized. The Hollows that lived there were all fairly weak. Perhaps it was for protection from stronger Hollows that they banded together, or perhaps in some small way they still desired what little companionship they could get in their new existance. Probably they themselves would be unable to answer for sure.

Near the back of the main chamber, a couple of Hollows sat on a pair of rocks, each of them lazily feeding on some things they had recently brought back from the Living World. "Things" was how they viewed them, mere morsels of food, nothing more. One of these Hollows had a rough humanoid shape, distorted and hideous, but still resembling a man more than anything else. The other looked a bit like a frog. Their names were Alan and Pus-Claw, and they were a rather unlikely pair, considering how they had first met.

Alan ate the last of the human soul he had caught and smiled beneath his mask at the other Hollow. "About time, isn't, Pus-Claw? Soon it will-"

"Shut up! Idiot!" snarled Pus-Claw. The froglike beast glared at Alan. "Perhaps I should have taken someone else, maybe Smoke-Char, or Solia."

Alam smiled broader, than giggled. "I'm tired of holding it in, besides, it doesn't matter anymore. The guards are already dead, and the tunnels prepared. It doesn't matter what I say to the idiots here now." Several nearby Hollows turned to stare at Alan at these words, but he only laughed louder and licked the last traces of blood off his fingers.

Around that moment, before any of the Hollows could prepare, 3 small sections of the chamber suddenly burst open, and Hollows of a different sort began to flood into the chamber. They also came in through the main entrance. Caught largely unprepared, the Hollows of the colony still did their best to fight back against the invaders, but they were outmatched.

"Traiters!" a worm like Hollow screamed at Alan and Pus-Claw. "We should have never given you shelter!" It charged forth at Alan and was swiftly impaled on a clawed hand, then casually thrown aside. But as it died, a small protrusion on its side hurled some spines at Alan, catching him unaware and ripping off his right arm. Alan feel to the ground roaring in pain.

Pus-Claw smiled and looked around the cave. Alan had been right, it was already too late. The invading Hollows, though slightly fewer in number, had overwealmed the defenders due to the advantage of surprise and their greater savagery. Already fights had broken out among the victors, each Hollow wanting a greater share of the meal. Soon a frenzy developed, former allies fighting and killing each other, coated in the remains of their previous prey.

Pus-Claw knew that he would be consumed by that frenzy, could already feel the desire to join in it himself, but this was what he had planned all along. Every one of those invading Hollows was someone he had chosen. They were all weak and had only recently discovered their desire to eat other Hollows. None of them knew how a Menos transformation really worked, so they had believed Pus-Claw's lies. They had followed him, and jumped at his offer to infiltrate and betray a weak colony for them, providing them with easy food.

"Fools. Once they started killing, this feeding frenzy was inevitable. I must say, what you did was clever. Soon a new Menos will be born at this spot, but not a single Hollow here can match your will, strength, or ego. You must be quite certain that you will succeed in taking control of the new Menos. Oh, but you're an idiot."

Pus-Claw whipped his head around in shock to look at Alan, who had managed to pull himself up off the ground. The fact that he was missing an arm and bleeding to death did not seem to bother him. In fact, he was chuckling at that very moment.

"Oh, by the way, I lied just now, there is a Hollow here who may just wrest control of that Menos from you." Alan began chewing on a piece of flesh he got from somewhere: Pus-Claw thought it might be Alan's own. "Isn't this FUN AND EXCITING!!!!!" Spit flew from Alan's mouth as he positively screamed the last part of his sentence.

"You're mad... you honestly think you can match me? Even if you are hiding strength, you're not that strong. I will be reborn as a Menos, and nothing will stop it. If you wanted to get revenge on me for our first encounter, you went about it the wrong way."

"Revenge?! Idiot, I don't want revenge! I don't hate you because of what you did to me then.

I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE ALIVE, BECAUSE YOU EXIST, AND BECAUSE IF THERE IS A GOD WHO MADE THIS UNIVERSE, YOU ARE PART OF HIS CREATION AND PERHAPS DEAR TO HIM IN SOME FASHION!"

Alan flung himself at Pus-Claw, despite his injuries. He was deflected and flung to the side, but not without knocking Pus-Claw back a bit. Alan could see the shock in Pus-Claw's eyes; the frog had underestimated just how strong Alan was. Even as a lizard Hollow jumped on Alan's wounded body and started eating it, Alan giggled. He continued to giggle as the darkness closed over his mind. It was too late for anybody to stop things now.

[Mad_Scientist]

Slowly, Alan became aware of himself again. He was floating... somewhere. But he couldn't see, hear, smell, taste, of touch anything. All his normal senses told him nothing, and yet, he had the sensation he was floating inside a great void, a void filled with other entities. One entity in particular had a strong presence, while the others were muted and weak. Those weak entities seemed far below him, in some abyss even greater than the void he was in, while the strong entity seemed right next to him in.

"Damn you, you filth! Do you realize how much time and effort it took to pick out all those Hollows, and keep them from going berserk or getting themselves killed while I prepared other things? Finding a colony that was weak and stupid, working out the tunnels, all that effort to ensure an easy rebirth, and you try and spoil it. You think I will let a single misjudged Hollow stop me?!"

Alan didn't exactly hear these words. He almost felt like he himself was thinking them, but that wasn't right either. It was that other presence, the strong one, that thought these things, and somehow Alan could tell what that presence thought. Suddenly a name came to Alan's mind: Pus-Claw. That was who the other presence was. Memory came back to Alan, and he realized where he must be.

Alan giggled, if it was possible to do so there. Giggling had been his response to just about every type of situation for quite some time now. Trying to put as much mockery into his thoughts as possible, he taunted Pus-Claw.

"Oh great and mighty Hollow, who's so weak he can't even take over a Menos like a normal Hollow and has to scheme his way through it, how pathetic you are. If you're so weak you can't even wrest control of a Menos from me, you will certainly be eaten after your transformation, so what difference does it make? Oblivion now, or oblivion later, who cares?"

Alan felt something hit him, felt claws raking across the core of his soul, and he realized he was being forced downward, down towards the teaming mass of weaker presences. If he reached that abyss, he would never escape, and Pus-Claw would have control of the Menos.

Part of that appealed to Alan. If he went there, he would never think or feel again. He would never have to remember what he had done, never have to remember Ninian. But at the thought of her name, hatred welled up within Alan, hatred that overpowered everything else, and the desire to hurt anything and everything came upon him. And at the moment, only Pus-Claw could be hurt by him.

Alan fought back with all his strength, not totally sure what he was doing or how. He attempted to force Pus-Claw down into the abyss below, down into oblivion. Pus-Claw tried the same with him, and as they fought and fought, it became apparant they were evenly matched. For a brief moment it felt like they were both climbing, both rising away from the abyss and into full awareness, and Alan wondered what would happen if two souls somehow ended up the dominant minds in a Menos.

But that sense of climbing lasted only a moment, and then Alan realized they were both dropping, both sinking into the abyss. Despite this, neither let up in their attacks. Alan knew now that neither could ever win, and their time was running out. It seemed that when the Menos finished forming, no one would be in control. Instead, it would just be another dumb mindless Menos.

Alan giggled. That always seemed to be the right thing to do, especially when he was hurting someone. He giggled, and taunted Pus-Claw with what he assumed would be his last thoughts ever. His final words, so to speak. He vaguely remembered reading a book while he was alive, a book full of the last words of famous people, words often full of wisdom or wit. He wondered how his last words would match up.

"Poor, poor froggy, poor poor froggy, poor poor froggy..."

_____


"I will take you with me, you ****! If I can't take control of the Menos, I won't let you have it either! AND STOP CHANTING THAT FROGGY NONSENSE!"

One mistake. One stupid mistake had cost Pus-Claw everything. He had thought Alan was just as weak and pathetic as when they had first met, had assumed Alan had tracked him down in some futile hope of getting revenge for that encounter. And he had thus used Alan in his plans, figuring he would go along with everything so that he could stay nearby, and that by the time Alan realized what was going on it would be too late.

But Alan had somehow known the truth about Menos transformations from the start, and had figured out Pus-Claw's plan. And he had somehow been much stronger than Pus-Claw thought possible. He hated Alan for this, hated him for what he had done, and the worst part of it was that dragging him into oblivion with him didn't even seem to be bothering Alan that much, judging from the insane giggling and laughter coming from him at that very moment.

Pus-Claw could feel the other Hollows around him now, the weak ones that had been easily surpressed. He could feel them pressing into him, absorbing him into their mass. His thoughts were slipping away, but he could tell that Alan was still with him, suffering the same fate, and that was all that mattered to him now.

"Sorry, but you're going to lose yourself now Pus-Claw. You had a clever plan, so it's a shame it has to fail like this."

What was that voice? It was a woman's voice, yet it seemed to come from Alan. Pus-Claw had never heard it before, and something about it frightened him more than anything he had felt before. The thought that he was only moments away from eternal oblivion didn't scare him, it only angered him, but that voice terrified him.

He suddenly realized that Alan was gone, was rising above the abyss, yet still holding him down at the same time. It was as though Alan's strength had just increased tenfold. And the voice came again.

"I do not know if any of you will be at all aware of what happens from now on, but if you somehow are at least partially aware of what comes, you are lucky. You are a part of a being that that will rise in power and rule one day. Much better than being stuck in an ordinary Menos. Goodbye now."


____


Alan gazed out at the sands of Hueco Mundo in his new Menos body. He wasn't sure what had happened, or how. He giggled. That was the right thing to do. Now, time to look for something to hurt.

[Mad_Scientist]

(OOC: Crude drawing of Alan in early Gillian form. Fortunately, Gillians are fairly basic so for once my pathetic skills with MS Paint can work for something.)

http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/8216/gillianalanxc2.png



Alan looked out at the sands of Hueco Mundo, as sensations flooded back to him. He was still giggling, but his initial plan to look for something to hurt had been delayed slightly. The reason was that Alan had realized that it was only his head sticking out above the ground. The rest of his gargantuan body was buried underneath the sands that had flooded the ruins of the cavern that had once served as a home to the colony Alan and Pus-Claw had betrayed.

So, it seemed Alan's first order of business would be getting himself free. He felt arms at his side, also buried underneath the sand, but he managed to lift them out of it. Using them to help pull himself free, he was able to at last excavate himself from the cave's ruins. It was difficult, though, as he found himself unused to using his new body, which felt incredibly sluggish.

Looking out across the wasteland once more, Alan began to move foward. His mind felt odd, and his thoughts and memories both seemed dull. A small part of him had enough clarity to realize that this might be a good thing, that he didn't really want to think or remember clearly. Instinct and hunger drove him now, and he began to search for a particular place. He lost track of how long it took him, but eventually he found what he was seeking. Another cave, but this one much much bigger. A cave that led deep under the sands of Hueco Mundo, until it finally reached a great underground forest. The Forest of Menos it was known as.

Alan stalked the Menos Forest, searching for prey. He found it in the form of a normal Gillian that was wandering aimlessly among the trees. Alan swiped at it, and as he did so, he felt a serge of power around his claws. The mindless Gillian was cut in half, and Alan stood looking at it in wonder. For a little bit he did that, then he began to feed.

It was the first time he had tasted a Menos. It was satisfying, and filled the emptyness inside Alan more than he had expected, but it didn't taste especially good. There was one taste in particular that Alan remembered from his past, one that was incredible, and he wished he could taste something like it again.

But then he remembered what exactly it was that had tasted so good, remembered Ninian, and he flew into a rage. He started lashing out at anything near him, searching for Gillians and ripping them to shreds without even bothering to eat them afterwards. But that did not lesson his rage, not even the slightest bit, so he found a Gillian and attempted to cut it with a bit more care.

Rather than instantly killing it, he simply injured it with a heavy wound across it's chest, then knocked it to the ground. Standing over it, he began to causually stab it, enjoying the shrieks of pain that came from it with each new wound. But even this activity did not seem to satisfy Alan as much as it used to.

He found himself musing on this fact, wondering why, when he realized the Gillian he been ignoring had managed to twist it's body in such a way that it could reach Alan with it's jaws. It was mere seconds away from taking out a chunk of his side. Startled, Alan flung himself backwards with as much speed as he could muster in his current form, then used a Cero to wipe out his foe completely.

"Careful, fool. If you get a part of you eaten, you'll never evolve beyond a Gillian," said a deep voice.

Alan spun around in search of the one who had uttered those words, and found himself staring at two other Gillians that had been hidden off in the shadows of several great quartz trees. They weren't mindless Gillians, as they had unique masks and special bodies. In fact, as Alan really looked at himself for the first time, he noted that these newcomers seemed to be much more evolved than him, for he had a body that was almost entirely standard, and their bodies certainly were not typical.

The one who had probably spoken was smaller than normal for a Gillian by a fair degree, maybe half Alan's height. He still had the basic Gillian shape: a shape like that of a child pretending to be a ghost by hanging a sheet over him, Alan suddenly realized with a wry smile. Aside from it's small size, the thing about this Gillian that stood out the most was its four arms. It's mask had an insect-like appearance to it.

The other Gillian was closer to Alan's size. It had a feminine cast to it, with a somewhat slender body, and it possessed what appeared to be breasts even. It's hands and jaws had especially sharp looking claws and fangs, and it's mask brought to mind a wolf.

"Is that so?" Alan said. "Well, I'll have to be careful then. Assuming I want to evolve at all."

"Why would you not want to evolve?" asked the female Hollow. "Do you want to spend the rest of your existance as a mere Gillian?"

Alan pondered for a moment, and tried to concentrate his thoughts and think clearly. There was something comforting about being a Gillian, but at the same time, if he could become an Adjucha he'd be much stronger. And the stronger he was, the more he could kill, the more he could hurt.

"No, I suppose I don't want to be one forever. But why are you asking this? Why did you not merely kill me when I was unaware of your presence."

This time the male answered. "Because we want another ally to help us reach Adjucha and Vasto Lorde status, and because you have an incredible power, though you don't seem able to control it or even realize it exists.

Did you notice, when you were slaughtering the mindless, that some of them were torn apart much easier than the rest? Perhaps you saw it or felt it, the shimmering red claw that appeared near your regular one at those times. When that red claw showed up, the stuff that contacted it simply... ceased to be. But most of the time it never appeared, or fizzled out after a second."

Alan hadn't noticed. He had only been vaguely aware of the fact that some of the Gillians died easier than others. But if he did have a great power, and if he could learn to control it...

"If you will teach me, I will gladly join you and help you attain Adjucha status. We will all fight together and become Vasto Lordes."

Alan had realized something. Perhaps the reason he didn't get much joy from killing and torturing anymore was because it was always done to strangers. After a while, one person's pain blended in with the next. But what if he could get to know someone, spend time with him, even start to like him a bit... and then kill him?

"Good. My name is Marius, and my companion is Shala," the male Gillian said. "What is your name?"

"Alan. Alan Matiaha. I remember that much, somehow." Alan smiled, the anticipation for when he'd kill his new friends was almost enough to make him shake.

[Mad_Scientist]

Alan gazed at the endless desert of Hueco Mundo, thinking to himself. How long had it been since he had joined up with Marius and Shala? It seemed like at least a week, but time was hard to keep track of in this place. Maybe it had only been a couple of days.

But Alan had been a Hollow much longer than that, and after all his time in Hueco Mundo, he had grown a little tired of the bleak landscape, the fields of endless white with little to no variation. The Menos Forest had not exactly been pretty, but it had been a nice change. Marius and Shala preferred to do most of their hunting on the surface, though. It was slower, because prey was much more spread out, but it was a lot safer. In the forest, one could find themselves surrounded by frenzied Hollows in an instant.

The sight of something odd in the distance caught Alan's attention and interupted his thoughts. Squinting, he focused his eyes on what appeared to be some sort of structure. It was hard to tell for sure, but it seemed to be a dome of sorts, with several towers sticking out of it and surrounding it. Alan gave a startled gasp.

It wasn't the mere fact that a building existed in Hueco Mundo that surprised him. He had seen other structures before, most of them ruins, and learned that they were remnants of some earlier age. He had even been told by Marius that some of the more advanced Hollow colonies had built things themselves. But this dome was so far away Alan could barely even make out the landscape around it. He should not be able to see any building at such a distance. To be able to see it, the size of the dome most be unimaginable.

"What the hell is that?" Alan wondered aloud.

"The palace of Las Noches," replied Marius as he walked over to where Alan stood. "It's an old place with a lot of history. 100 years ago, it was home to the strongest of the Arrancar, who were known as the Espada."

"Arrancar? Those Hollows who have ripped off pieces of their masks in an attempt to gain powers like those freaks in the black robes? It's hard to imagine such pathetic beings building something like that."

Marius laughed loudly, a deeply amused chuckle. "Pathetic? I'm guessing you've encountered some Arrancars yourself in the past, but don't judge them all by whatever you may have seen. Becoming an Arrancar is difficult, and sometimes the transformation can go very badly. But when the transformation goes right, a being is said to be able to attain power far beyond a normal Hollow."

Alan pondered this new information. Is Marius was correct, there was a way for Alan to gain more power, even after he became a Vasto Lorde. Perhaps he should consider becoming an Arrancar himself. Of course, how would he do it? Hollow masks usually just reformed whenever they got damaged, so Alan had no idea how someone would rip a part off permanently. And he didn't want to risk injuring himself.

Alan giggled softly. He was still just a Gillian, he hardly had to worry about any of this yet. A sudden urge to kill Marius came over him, but he suppressed it. "Not yet," he thought, "I want to know what it is like to kill a close friend, as close a friend as a Hollow can have, and I do not know Marius well enough yet."

"You said 100 years ago it was the home of the 'Espada'. Is it not their home anymore?" Alan wasn't certain why he cared, but if there were powerful beings like that still around, he should probably be wary of them. Plus, asking helped keep his mind off the thought of killing Marius.

"Actually... Espada do still live there. If you can really call them Espada anymore. The Espada used to be an organized group, with some sort of goal and purpose they shared. Now what remains of them share less unity then most Hollow colonies. They are a pathetic bunch, still powerful in some ways, but nothing compared to what they used to be. They constantly kill each other over petty and pointless things.

Although... I think things among those who call themselves Espada are changing. Perhaps things have already changed, and I'm just not yet aware of it." Marius gave a small self-deprecating chuckle. "After all, I am a mere Gillian still, so I would not trust what I say too much. My information about the politics of Hueco Mundo is limited."

Politics? Alan thought that an odd word to use. Politics implied civilization and order, and Hueco Mundo was nothing but a world of death and killing. A word full of monsters satisfying selfish and primal instincts, forming vague alliances based mostly on self interest. Then again, he thought wryly, if what he remembered about politics from the living world was correct, maybe it was a good word to use to describe Hueco Mundo.

"Despite what you say, you know a lot about this world. How?" Alan asked.

At that moment, though, Shala returned from her scouting. "I have sensed a strong Gillian to the West of us. Alone."

"Time to hunt then," said Marius. It seemed Alan would have to wait for his answers.

[Mad_Scientist]

Ilisca stratched at the sand and muttered to himself, frowning at the distanct landscape. The porcupine-like Menos sensed the presence of three other Menos, approaching him rapidly from the east. And it seemed highly unlikely they were coming for a friendly visit. Sighing to himself, Ilisca stretched his limbs and prepared himself for the impending battle.

He did not have long to wait. Before much time had passed, he found himself facing off against the trio he had sensed only minutes earlier. They were all somewhat evolved Gillians, like himself. He glanced at each of them in turn, trying to figure out their abilities and how they would come at him.

He immediately judged the insect one to be the biggest threat. Half the size of a normal Gillian, and bearing four arms, it might not be that far away from evolving into an Adjucha. The female Gillian with the wolfish features might also be a threat. The final member of the group, a curious looking Gillian with odd scribbles all over its mask, seemed like it was weak, but Ilisca knew he couldn't ignore him completely.

"Welcome. Have you come to offer yourselves to me as food?" Ilisca asked. Before he was even done speaking, he launched a horde of sharp quills at all three of his foes.

The wolf Gillian charged foward, as though she intended to ram right into the quills. But as she moved, she opened her mouth and howled. The air seemed to thicken in front of her, and the quills began to move slowly, as though they were passing through jelly. The wolf Gillian grinned as she then changed her movements and easily dodged the quills, but Ilisca wasn't really paying attention to her anymore.

At that moment, he was busy trying to deal with the insect Gillian that had dug under the sands and popped out underneath his feet. It wasn't easy: four arms at once were hard to block, and the sharp claws at the end of each arm meant that Ilisca couldn't afford to not block them. Worse, the insect was fast.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ilisca caught a glimpse of the scribbled mask Gillian. Near one of its arms, a shimmering red claw floated in the air. The look in this Gillian's eyes was... disappointment? Ilisca did not understand why at first. But then all four arms of the insect Gillian Ilisca was fighting came together in some odd pincher movement that he could barely even follow with his eyes, let alone block. As he felt his body separate into many pieces, Ilisca realized that the scribbled one must have been disappointed when he realized that Ilisca would be dead without him doing anything.

____


It was a good feast, and Alan felt his power grow as he ate his share of the dead Gillian's remains. He wondered how many meals it would take before he would become an Adjucha? Perhaps he should ask Marius and Shala how many they had eaten so far. Nah. Alan didn't really care how long it took anyways.

There was something he did care about, though. After participating in several battles with Marius and Shala, he had come to realize just how strong a pair they were, and how well they worked together. So why had they needed him? The initial answer they had given him, that they thought he had great potential, didn't seem to be the whole answer.

Looking up from his meal, he stared at his companions, and then spoke. "Perhaps the two of you will tell me something now. You," Alan said as you pointed at Marius, "have incredible power for a Gillian. Your strength is unbelievable. And you," he said as he pointed at Shala, "have exceptional sensing abilities.

The two of you together are enough to kill most foes with ease, and anybody who's actually strong enough to stop you can be easily avoided because of Shala's sensing abilities. So why did you care about me? Why did you bother to add me to your group? Sharing meals three ways, won't you slow down your own growth?"

Marius remained completely silent, appearing to be deep in thought. It was Shala who answered Alan's question. At least, she answered it partially. Alan wasn't totally sure what to make of her response, though.

"I told Marius I wanted us to recruit you. I sensed you had the potential for great power, both of us did. That part of what we told you when we first met you is true. But that is not precisely why we asked you to join us.

I wanted you to join us... because I sensed you were family."

Alan chocked out a laugh at that comment. Family? What could she possibly mean by that? "Do you mean we were related to each other while we were still humans?" he asked.

"No," Shala replied, "that is not what I meant. I meant... it is hard to say. I'll tell you later, when I find the right words."

Alan resumed eating,. Shala's answer had been incredibly vague, and didn't really answer a thing. But Alan was not thinking about her answer at the moment, he was thinking about something odd that he had realized suddenly. Just seconds earlier, for a little bit, he had been thinking about his life as a human, and his memories had even briefly touched upon Ninian. But he did not feel the sudden spurts of rage and hatred that usually came whenever that happened. He felt no desire to kill anything at that moment.

And in fact, ever since he had joined up with Shala and Marius, his thoughts had seemed different than normal. There weren't still occasional times where Alan would think the way he used to, such as when he got the strong urge to kill Marius that had come over him while they were talking about Las Noches. But overall, Alan seemed much more calm and clearheaded than he used to be.

Maybe it was just the fact that he was eating other Menos now, maybe that was what was causing it. But whatever the reason, Alan now found himself regretting the fact that he was going to kill Marius and Shala later on. Maybe he should become friends with someone else, and leave them alive?

Now that certainly was an odd thought.

[Mad_Scientist]

Alan still couldn't help but stare in wonder a little bit, as he looked at the shimmering red claw that floated mere inches from his hand. The claw that he had created, a claw that could easily rip through whatever it touched. After a few weeks fighting alongside Marius and Shala, he had gotten much better at forming that claw, but he still had trouble getting it to work right at times.

They were resting now, inbetween hunts, so he was taking the time to train with them in order better control his powers. Concentrating his Reiatsu and focusing it on his hand, he tried to maintain the claw and keep it there for at least a minute. And for once, the claw did not fizzle and die. Instead it did exactly as he wanted it to, and stayed clear and strong.

Alan made a few swipes with his hand, the claw following along just in front of it. He cut through several large rocks that were nearby, as well as some quartz trees, and the claw remained stable. He was then treated to congratulatory sounds from his companions.

"I told you that you would get the hang of it after a while," said Marius. Once you can finally use that thing without fear of it failing in the middle of a fight, we'll take you on an Adjucha hunt."

"Have you ever hunted Adjuchas before?" Alan asked.

It was Shala who answered. "Yes, but we've only gone after the weak ones. I pick them out. Even a weak Adjucha provides a much better power boost than a Gillian, but they are very dangerous to fight. That's why we've been waiting till you got better at controlling your powers to go after any more of them."

His powers... Alan didn't say anything, but despite the fact that he had gotten much better at controlling them, he couldn't shake an odd feeling whenever he made that claw. It almost felt like it wasn't even his powers at all. As though something else sensed what he was trying to do, and forcibly manipulated his body to do it. This oddity didn't bother him much anymore, but it did make him wonder about himself at times.

___


Ninian felt a change, felt the Reiatsu in her hand... in Alan's hand... diminish. She realized what he must be trying to do, and let the red claw she had been maintaining vanish. Moments later she felt another change in Reiatsu, this time it was climbing, and she caused the claw to reappear. The Reiatsu faded, and she let the claw vanish again. Vanish and reappear, vanish and reappear, over and over again, all of it timed to match Alan's efforts.

At last Alan finished with his training, for the present at least, and Ninian felt like breathing a sigh of relief. Of course, she couldn't do that. She didn't breathe anymore. She felt like sleeping a week to recover from all the strain and exhaustion, but she couldn't do that either. She didn't know whether to laugh or weep at the pathetic situation she had found herself in.

She knew Alan would be hunting again soon, and prepared herself for the unpleasant experience. It wasn't the hunting itself that bothered her, it was the feasting that always followed it. Every time Alan ate, it brought back unpleasant memories of being on the other side of those jaws. Of course, since she could now feel everything Alan did, she couldn't help but partially enjoy those meals also. It was an utterly insane situation.

It had now been 8 months since Alan had died. 5 months since the monstor he had become had ripped her soul from her body. And eaten her, of course, though Ninian tried to avoid remembering that as much as possible. She couldn't help but think of it during Alan's meals, but she wanted to at least be able to forget about it the rest of the time.

After Alan had devoured her, Ninian had lost all awareness for a while. She became vaguely aware of things sometime after that, but it was not to her liking. She felt as though she was dreaming, as though she was caught in a nightmare where she could not think clearly or control her actions. She watched as Alan committed atrocity after atrocity in his madness, she watched from inside his eyes, as though she was the one doing things.

Alan becoming a Menos had freed her, or so it had seemed at the time. Her awareness had come back fully, her mind had become clear. She had no longer felt like she was in a dream. She still remembered the optimistic words she had said to Pus-Claw and the others Hollows that formed the Menos, when she thought things were going to start going better.

Her optimisism had proved to be somewhat unfounded. As a Gillian, Alan remained as insane as before, and he was still a slave to his Hollow instincts. For some reason Ninian's mind seemed unaffected by being a Hollow, or part of a Hollow, but it did little good. She could not communicate with Alan in any way.

She could control his body a little bit, though. Her body... in some ways it was her body too. Her control was limited, but surprisingly, she was more powerful than Alan when she used it. She instinctively knew how to use powers that Alan was incapable of using. The shimmering red claw was her power, her ability.

She believed that she might be able to actually take over Alan's body completely for a brief time, but had not yet tried to do so. It was hard enough to learn to create a stable claw at the right times, so that Alan could fight effectively. She had only just mastered that.

But Ninian was determined. Somehow, no matter how much pain and effort it took, no matter how hard it was, she would survive. Alan would survive, and she would find a way to talk to him again. She would free him from his madness, and find a way to have her own body again. She would free herself from this tortured existance she had now.

And that would only be the beginning of what she had planned.

___


Alan, Marius, and Shala prepared to hunt again. Alan giggled slightly. He always enjoyed the hunts, and the meals that followed them.

[Mad_Scientist]

Shala stood on one of Hueco Mundo's many rolling hills, her eyes closed in concentration. A peaceful look was on her face, and she almost appeared to be meditating. Occasionally she would shift her head slightly, as if she was looking at various places in the distance, but her eyes remained closed the whole time.

At the foot of the hill, a little ways away, sat Marius and Alan. Shala's sensing abilities worked best when she could concentrate without any distractions, so they levt her alone while she worked. They sat in silence, and Marius gazed up the hill at Shala with a very strange expression on his face. It almost looked like... affection.

It probably was. Hollows could feel affection, if a twisted form of it, though Alan had never seen it displayed on one's face so clearly before. He wondered whether Hollows could go beyond simple affection, and feel something like love. It was an odd thought for someone like Alan to have.

As the minutes went by with Alan simply sitting there, watching Marius watch Shala, he at last grew curious enough to speak. And the words that came out of his mouth surprised him in their directness. "Do you love Shala, Marius?"

Marius jerked in surprise, then choked out a rough laugh which turned into a cough. "Love? What nonsense are you suddenly speaking about? Did you forget what sort of beings we are?"

"Ok, not love. Do you care for her, though? More than just a normal ally, more than just a useful accomplice, that is."

Marius remained silent for a long while. At last, he spoke again in a quiet voice. "I did. I don't know if I really do anymore, but I did. It is the only memory I have from when I was a human."

Alan was surprised. Marius and Shala knew each other as humans? What were the chances of that? But he said nothing, and waited to see if Marius would say more. When Marius didn't, Alan decided to press him a bit, and also to reveal something about himself.

"I remember very little from when I was a human too. But like you, I do remember caring for someone. So I-" Alan broke off his speech with a gasp. Memories that he had been trying to suppress threatened to come back to him. He realized his hands were reaching for his head, as though he wanted to claw at his own face. He stopped their movements and lowered them back down, and tried to give the impression that nothing was out of the ordinary.

Marius looked at Alan with curiosity, then spoke once again. "I don't even remember who Shala was. She could have been a friend, a family member, maybe even my wife. But I know while we were both alive, I cared for her deeply. And then, when I became a Hollow, I attacked her, and turned her into a Hollow. That is the one memory I have of being a normal Hollow. The only two memories I have left of my time before a Gillian go together rather nicely, don't they?" Marius asked with a humorless chuckle.

"I don't know how we both survived when she became a Hollow in the middle of my attack, but we did. Somehow, we survived, and became Menos, and met each other afterwards. And somehow I recognized her. I don't know how I did that either. She obviously looks nothing like she used to"

Alan felt like he was about to wretch. Marius's past, parts of it at least, were eeriely similar to his own past. "Ninian!" Alan screamed inside, and for the first time in a while, the urge to kill Marius came over him. He had to struggle with himself to stop from shaking.

Any concern Marius might have had for him and his poor state was temperaly supplanted by apparant surprise over just how much Marius had revealed to him. "Do not speak of this, Alan. I did not intend to tell you. Shala does not remember anything from being a human, she does not know what I did. If she knew... Just do not speak of this. Ever." The coldness in Marius's voice was enough to eliminate any lingering urge in Alan to try and kill him. Alan knew that if he did try anything at that moment, trying would be as far as he would get.

The two of them continued to sit there for a while, and this time the silence remained complete. Marius gazed at Shala with that affectionate look once more. And after a while, traces of sadness could be seen in his face as well.