My Poems

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

^_^
Okay, now I've been told that my writing style is similar to Edgar Allen Poe's ((whom I adore)).

They are a tad bit creepy, but I would like some constructive criticism.

The King and His Horse
((A Conversation Between Ichigo Kurosaki and Hichigo Shirosaki. Ichigo's POV))

It trips you up
It consumes you out
It laughs in spite
As you drown in doubt.

That pale, bloodless face
Twisted in glee
You fall down and cry out
"What is wrong with me?!"

A smirking visage filling your sight
Golden eyes dancing with delight
Slowly, yet deftly, you reach out to yell
"Please come and save me from this dark hell!"

He stops his mocking for instant
Noticing the pain in your eyes
Realizing all the inference
Has been nothing but lies.

Seeing your tears fall one by one
He laughs "This will definitely be fun!"
And now you cannot hear the Hollow's call
Your final thought "How did we fall...?"

The Hollow stood up and smiled in his triumph
His black, tainted heart started to sing
He placed his foot on your head
And shouted to the heavens "Now the Horse becomes King!"

WARNINGS: This has mentionings of bullying and violence in the form of a knife.
Oh, yeah. And themes of a mental illness that you'll figure out soon. It's fun to write about that...*ahem* O__O

Happy Smile

They Gather In A Group,
Smiling And Laughing,
Why Should We Fit In?
We Don't Know The Reasons.

Their Sadistic Glances,
Their Mocking Words,
Their Abusive Actions,
All For Us.

We Sit At Our Usual Spot
No One Is Near Us
A Conversation Is Held,
But Only I Hear Both Sides.

"S-Should I Really?"
'YES! GO! NOW!
It's Laugh Echoes Forever,
In My Mind, Nowhere Else.

I Stand Up From My Lunchroom Table,
Throwing My Plate Away,
Walking To Our Tormentors,
Eyes Downcast All The Way.

I Draw A Knife.
Someone Screams.
A Interesting Sound Is Heard,
I Find It From A Girl's Shoulder.

I Hear The Laughing Again,
I Throw Away My Happy Smile,
For Now I Know,
My Only Tormentor...Was Myself.

:um

Yeah...>_>

[melboyd~]

....both are great...:)

>.> it's very interesting when u inserted some monologues in some parts, that added to the tone and mood while i'm reading it. and the last line in "Happy Smile" is the best part. twisted ending is always a win in poems that i like to read ^^

[Luhy]

mmm, i hope the second one isn't inspired by anything in your real life o.o lol very emo, and i'm glad i'm not the only dark poet :p very interesting that you added dialogue too and made a poem about Bleach ;o but it worked very well~ your imagery was very clear too, good stuff ;p

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

Danke, guys!

--And NO! The second one ISN'T inspired by a real life experience.

It was a dream I had was all.

Here's some more.

Hero -The Choice-


Here I Am
I'm Falling
So Far,
So Fast
My Mind Is Racing
I Can't Save Myself
My Wings Are Still Broken

But Now No One Can Save Me
Why Did I Jump?
I Had A Future...
Didn't I?

I'm Slowly Fading
Lend Me A Hand
Part Of Me Says "You Have So Much To Live For! LIVE AND LOVE!"
The Other Tells Me, "You Ignorant Girl. You Are Worthless! DIE IN HATE!"
To Whom Shall We Listen?
It's Your Choice
Love or Hate?
Live or Die?
Can we really choose?
It's your choice.

And...now my ongoing BLEACH story-poem!

.......Yes, it has IchiRuki.
Fuyu no Hanabi pt. 1
((Winter Fireworks--Will be a poem in installments))

Swords Clashed Around Them.
Do You Hear The Sound?
Their Eyes Glanced At The Gem,
To A Wedding Ring Was Bound.

A Man With Strawberry-Blonde Hair,
A Woman With Eyes Of Sapphire,
Embraced Each Other, And Keeping Their Care,
Ran Away From The Mire.

Followed By Their Friends, Were They,
Onto A Steep Cliff-Top,
One Closed Their Eyes And Prayed,
"Please Let The Fighting Stop!"

The First Snowflake Floated Down
Upon The Ground Silently
Millions Joined It There,
Laying There Furtively.

The Eyes Of All Who Gathered There Stared Skyward,
Ice Littering Their Countenances,
All But Two Had Heard
The Screech of Metal Lingering In The Air.

Their Lives Had Seemed To Change So Suddenly,
Why Are They This Way?
A Young, Pink-Haired Girl Smiled And Laughed.
"Because That's What He Planned For Today!"

A Bright Light Shone From The Adjacent Hill,
Soukyouku, As It Was Called.
The Place Of Execution For Traitors,
As The Life Currently There Quickly Faded Away.

The Sapphire-Eyed Woman Faltered and Wept Bitterly,
Her Fiancee Asked What Was Wrong.
Her Only Reply.
"That was my Nii-sama. Now He Is Gone."

The Orange-Haired Man Drew The Woman Into An Embrace,
Wiping The Tears Off Of Her Face,
She Looked Up At Him, Smiled,
And Their Lips Met.

Another Explosion Rocked The Cliff,
Knocking Most Of The Group Off Of Their Feet,
When Suddenly A Group Of Men And Women Appeared,
"Yo, Ichi! Long Time, No See!"

[Gol D. Roger]

I like all of your poems, although in particular I enjoyed Fuyu no Hanabi (Part 1) the most.

For the most part, I prefer poetry that doesn't adhere strictly to a set form or meter, and what I found most interesting about Fuyu no Hanabi was the way in which you played with form, rhyming, then falling out of it naturally, matching syllables, then letting them drift apart.

Good stuff. I look forward to reading more. :D

[butterandtoast]

Wow wow wow. Your poems are amazing. I love the happy smile, very nice. Heh, glad to hear that it was not inspired by real life.

I love the IchixRuki poem! >___> I hope you'll post more poems!

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

Okay, here's one that I came up with spur-of-the-moment.

Untitled

Why must you run?
I'm not scary
I just like to look
Look at your fear

Why do you chase?
I'm not good
I'll forever run
Run from you

Why do you fall?
I'm not stopping
I'll keep coming
Coming for you.

Why do I break?
I'm not sure
He'll keep advancing
Advancing towards me.

Oh? What is this?
It's my name
Written into your mind
Mindful of me

Ahh. Forever etched.
Etched into my skull
My skull and this gravestone.

IN PACE REQUESESCAT
ETERNITUS VERITAS
Jane Doe.

A woman.

[CeriaHalcyon]

Wow Hana...i almost said haha...lol...

This poem was incredible, the way you bounced from line to line with the repetition was interesting, i had never thought of doing that before.

*Pat's Hana-chan on the back!* good job!

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

>////<

Danke.

I tried to write a poem in German, but no one here would really understand it...>__>

[shinikage]

Just read all the poems in this page at once 0.o


Cool! I espescially like the 'happy face' and 'untitled' (the best! Wow!) XD

The darkest poems I've ever read. And that's why it's great XE. And byakuya is dead? Trying to interpret em.

In happy face, it's about scizophrenia? The main character thinks of people that don't exist. While they're actually part of her mind. As her hallucination drives her crazy, she stabbed other girl in the shoulder and made her inner tormentor happy instead?
In untitled, a guy is chasing a girl, which is actually dead already. She lures him and in the end he's dead with his skull carved with her name?
Hehe, I like these kind of things lol

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

Wow, Shini-san...Thanks.

Yesh, Byakushi is dead, sadly.
Gotta have that morbidity factor, ya know?

You got everything right about happy smile except the ending.
The group of people were never making fun of her.
It was her need to have attention and the schizophrenia that made her think that they were making fun of her, instead of making her inner tormentor happy.
Once she did that ((later on down the line)), she never heard voices in her head again.

And...with Untitled....
O_O
Yes. That's it exactly!

:hug

Thanks for reading it~!