Sweetly Sour Sanctimony

[Luhy]

The sun was out
The sky was clear
He took her dolly
Which she held so dear

She chased him around
For help she would scream
Her mommy and daddy
Were busy it would seem

He teased and taunted
She hit him with a shoe
They were so young
Whoever would have knew

Looking in the mirror
Straightening her hair
Patting down her dress
It's a wonder how they got there

Their families were glowing
She came down the aisle
He was waiting patiently
And gave her a smile

They said their "I do"s
They leaned in and kissed
He took her by the hand
To show her what she had missed

They went to the limo
He took out a surprise
Her dolly was inside
She smiled with tears in her eyes

[shinikage]

The story is funny and romantic. It's interesting :D

[Luhy]

I didn't think it was as good as "This Girl" or "Molly" but thought you guys might like it XP glad you found it interesting shini lol

[melboyd~]

that's a romantic story, it's like reading a story rather than a poem and it's very straightforward. so, saved my time for interpreting j/k lol. now, it'd be nice if one day u can make another poem, with the girl as the doer rather than the one to be pleased XP~

nice poem btw :)

[Luhy]

mmm, that's an idea... lol ;x maybe I could write a series poem too with the same characters... might be hard though XP lol, yea, very straightforward XD do you like it more when it's like this (story-style) or when it's like my earlier poems? (stretch forth your hand etc) ;x

[melboyd~]

story is nice, but since u asked me (hmm, is this a moment of truth game? :sweatxD), i prefer to interpret. ur previous poems with the use of imagery, symbols and fragmented phrases allow the readers (me) to put my own thought in them ^^
but it's always nice to write a variety of poems, e.g. molly ect. nah, dun limit ur writing based on what i said here :P, coz i know u can come up with more style~

go go luhy! :lala

[Luhy]

lol XD you always end up making me smile a huge grin ;p I was thinking that oo, I should go back to the world of symbolism and imagery for a bit ^^ I'll probably always try to cover a lot of different ground and surprise you with something new sometimes too, like how Molly was XD

[melboyd~]

and it worked~

lol, world of symbolism, is like living in a completely vague world and we'll be spending all of the times deciphering the meaning of life freely ...and that is uber fun (for me that is >.>) ... now, the girl as the doer poem >.>

[Byakuya Kuchiki]

this story is pretty good XD

[Luhy]

thanks ^^ nice to know others out there are reading my stuff too X3 If you liked it, you should read "Molly" or "This Girl", they have better stories I think ;x