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Luhy
03-03-2008, 03:50 AM
She was beautiful
Everyone told her so
And she loved him
But she couldn't let him know

She had a boyfriend
And he didn't care
He hit her
To leave him she didn't dare

So she went on through high school
With this same guy
he would beat her and throw her around
but never would she cry

Where did that bruise come from
her friends would ask
I fell down the stairs
And that cut's from the glass

They believed all of her excuses and her lies
Thats everyone except this one other guy
He Had loved her ever since the seventh grade
Ever since he saw her at that Christmas parade

He wanted to help her but want could he do
He had to save her she was really getting hurt
The guy pushed her around
He treated her like dirt

He went to her house
And knocked on the door
He looked in the window
And saw blood on the floor

He heard him yell
So he twisted the knob
He couldn't get in
He could hear her sob

He called the police
They got there fast
They opened the door
He let out a gasp

There she was
Sprawled out on the floor
He couldn't bear to look
But wait theres more

There was a funeral
The very next day
He wanted to attend
But what could he say

He took a seat
In the very last row
He loved her so much
She just didn't know

There was a note found under her bed
He had no idea
all kinds of thoughts flew in his head

"My boyfriend hits me
But what can i do.."
"And theres this really sweet guy..
I wish he liked me
but he has no clue"

melboyd~
03-03-2008, 10:47 AM
it was like reading a short story >.> really, really sad :P i guess, they were not meant to be. if only that girl had the gut to tell him earlier ;p but i guess she just cant.

reminds me a bit of my friend, but luckily her bf didnt beat her to that extend, and they'll be getting married this year xP

cant wait for ur next poem ... ^^

shinikage
03-03-2008, 10:52 AM
woa, that's a nice poem. I like the story and how you write it.

Luhy
03-03-2008, 09:13 PM
thanks XD It was a new idea and im glad you guys liked it~ :yay

LUV
03-03-2008, 09:22 PM
Like I told you before... this poem kicks ass.

vonix
03-03-2008, 09:32 PM
wow thats really sad :cry

HGChristian
03-03-2008, 09:48 PM
Dude, you are an amazing writer!! cant wait to see more. BTW this inspired from something or completely fiction?

Grey1x
03-03-2008, 09:52 PM
Wow, Shakespear V.2? Really great poem Luhy, the rhymes went pretty well as the story was great. About the persons saying "what a sad poem", good poems almost always end in a sad way lol. Even so, it was great.

Luhy
03-03-2008, 09:58 PM
"the person", it's Vonix! you act like he's new lol :p and yea, not inspired by anything really aside from the fact I had a friend once who used to get abused by her BF~ hmm... I wonder if I should take a crack at something Shakespearean... or something like Edgar Allan Poe's Raven... lol

vonix
03-03-2008, 10:07 PM
lol write sad puppy poems!

HGChristian
03-03-2008, 10:38 PM
lol be nice to the puppy though....if you hurt them i will come after you and show you a raven........wow...sucha poorly worded insult...well atleast your ears are bleading :)