kitty868theonly
12-14-2007, 05:43 AM
IF YOU RATHER READ IT AT FANFICTION.NET: THEN GO HERE, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3944167/1/Aizens_Will
Title: Aizen’s Will
By: kitty868theonly
Rating: T-T+; Curse words and indications of very, very small lemon/sexual terms
Type of Story: BLEACH; Oneshot; General & Humor.
Quick Summary: Aizen is--- DEAD!?! But, Aizen knew this day would come one day--- but not so early BEFORE the winter war”! But, before he died though, he left his Will on what everyone needs to do and what everyone can have once he died. And, the one who needs to read it is--- GIN!?! Something is not right here”! [Side note/Clue/Credit: this story was inspired by a YouTube video that was/is rated #7 for comedy] (BONUS at the end---- for my BIRTHDAY)
Special Appearances (In order of Appearance): Gin, Touzen, ALL of the Espada are in this oneshot, and---- ICHIGO!? (WTH!?) [Side note 2: Nnoitora’s name will be spelled as Noitora in this story because it sounds/looks better that way to me]
Started On & Completed Date: December 12th (Start Date) & December 13th (Complete Date) YEAR 2007
Total Pages: 24 (Including my comments and the BONUS)
DISCLAIMER: I obviously DON’T OWN BLEACH--- and I don’t own the YouTube video I am talking about either---- nor am I the creator of the video or the characters made/shown in that video. For the YouTube video, go here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo & http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5kGUW6M7W0&feature=related
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All of the Espada were in their seats, waiting for Aizen to arrive and start the meeting. But, to everyone’s surprise, he hadn’t shown up yet. The meeting should have started 10 minutes ago. This was how everyone knew that something was wrong, especially if he was late to his own meeting.
“Alright, what the fuck is going on!?” A certain blue-haired Espada said with the number 6 labeled on his back.
“Who knows?! Maybe the man finally crooked.” Another Espada said as he cackled, who was at the other end of the table with only one eye looking around.
“Well I hope he hurries up, because I am still tired as hell!” Another Espada said that has his hair “wavy” somewhat and a little goatee.
“Everyone calm down. I’m sure Aizen-sama has his reasons for being late.” A certain emotionless Espada said, who was sitting right across from the blue-haired Espada.
“I don’t give a fuck Ulquiorra! He always tells us to be on time, and yet he is late to his own meeting! I hate waiting for things that is probably meaningless!” The blue-haired Espada replied to the emotionless Espada, Ulquiorra.
“Sometimes I wonder how you became an Espada, Grimmjow.” Ulquiorra said back, now trying to insult him.
“What you say you-”
“SHHH! I hear footsteps!” A woman said that always had her mouth covered.
They all look towards the door and waited for the door to open. The door opens, and in walks in Gin and Touzen---- but no Aizen!? All of the Espada are surprised that he wasn’t with them, especially Ulquiorra. Gin and Touzen walked to the table and they stood by Aizen large chair. Gin had a frown upon his face and Touzen looked disturbed too, but he didn’t show it as much. To everyone further surprise, Gin sat in Aizen’s “˜throne’ chair. The first one to speak was Ulquiorra.
“Gin” What are you doing in Aizen-sama’s seat”!?” Ulquiorra, with a very small hint of anger.
Gin didn’t respond. He simply took out a piece of paper that was hidden inside his sleeves. The paper was rolled up, but he unrolled it and held it in front of himself to read it. But, before he began to read, he looks up and looks at all of the Espada.
“Before I tell everyone the--- news” I need to do a quick attendance of everyone--- in no particular order”
“Ulquiorra”
“Here” the emotionless Espada said.
“Grimmjow”
“I’m fucking right here!” The blue-haired Espada said, losing his patients.
Gin ignores him and moves on.
“Stark”
“I’m physically here, but my mind is not.” The Espada said that had his hair “˜wavy’ somewhat and a little goatee
Gin ignores his comment.
“Zommari”
“Here” The dark-skinned Espada said with his deep voice and yet quietly.
“Noitora”
Noitora cackles before he replied.
“I’m here--- right next to the most beautiful woman in Las Noches.” The Espada said that had only one eye looking out, while his other eye was hidden behind an eye patch.
The woman next to him rolled her eyes and sighed. Gin ignored the both of them and continued.
“Szayel”
“The genius is here.” The pink-haired Espada said with a smile.
“Halibel”
“Here” The dark-skinned woman said that always had her mouth covered.
Gin stopped for a moment, trying to remember the old man Espada’s name.
“Um” The old man looking Espada”
The old man Espada groaned in annoyance.
“My name is ------------”
Gin laughed nervously.
“Ah yes, sorry about that”
Gin moves on.
“Aaroniero”
“Here” The Espada said that had his face covered, that somewhat shocked everyone because he hardly spoke unless he really needed to.
Gin was momentarily surprised before he continued.
“And finally, Yammy”
“Here” Another dark-skinned male Espada said with boredom.
“Alright, now that you that everyone is here, let’s get to the damn point!” Grimmjow said.
Gin puts up his hands in “˜defense’.
“Ah yes..! I might as well tell everyone now”
Gin coughs for a second to clear his throat and chuckled nervously.
“W-Well everyone” I have some really bad news and some good news” Gin said.
Nobody said anything, because they wanted to hear what it was before saying anything.
“Let me start with the bad news first”
Gin paused for a moment before he continued.
“Aizen is”.. He is---- dead”
Everyone gasped in surprise at the table, except for Touzen, Gin, and Ulquiorra. Grimmjow eyes had this surprised expression on his face, even his eyes were open wide.
“Wh-What the fuck did you just say”?” Grimmjow said, trying to see if it was true or some sick joke Gin was playing.
“I said Aizen is dead”. And I am very serious about the matter”
Again, nobody spoke. Grimmjow grinned and laughed like some nutcase that was just admitted to the psycho-ward.
“Alright Gin! You had me there for a second, but we all know that you are the prankster type of guy. So, tell us the real bad news.” Grimmjow said, with the grin still upon his face.
Gin looks at him with a frown on his face.
“I assure you Grimmjow, that I am not joking” Gin said with a straight face.
Grimmjow grin disappeared from his face. Ulquiorra blinked his eyes once before he looked at Gin with his “˜oh-so-serious’ expression.
“I don’t believe it. I don’t see any evidence of this, not even his body. And, dare I ask how did he died?”
“Evidence? You are a smart one Ulquiorra” But, if it is evidence that you want- why don’t you leave and tell me what you see in his room? I know it isn’t ketchup all over his body.” Gin remarked.
To his surprise, Ulquiorra didn’t get up. Instead, he closed his eyes and kept them that way. The Espada remained silent, trying to figure out what to do with themselves since their leader was dead. Gin remained quiet for a few seconds, before his face expression changed to the usual smile.
“Don’t despair everyone! Because I have good news too!”
Everyone looked at him; a few of them gave him this odd look on their face. Gin waved the paper in the air for all to see.
“This paper here is his will that he left. So, without further ado, I would like to read it!”
Gin held the paper in front of his face.
“It seems that in his will, he left something for each of you.” Gin said before he looked back at the paper.
“H-he left us with stuff”?” Ulquiorra said, with a hint of surprise.
Gin nods his head before he continued.
“And these are his exact words”. “˜To all of my wonderful children that I cared for deeply and taken care of so well-’”
Noitora cackled at those words.
“That’s a laugh!” He commented.
Gin ignored him and continued.
““˜- Since I knew this day would come, I have prepared myself by making this will” And, as I am sure all of you know, Gin has explained already that I will give some stuff to all of you” Each of you will bear a wonderful gift that I’m sure all of you will benefit from”-’”
“Him leaving us gifts? That’s not like the prick at all.” Grimmjow commented.
Gin continues, ignoring his comment completely.
““˜-The first I am going to start off with is the one that seats right next to me--- Grimmjow”-’”
Grimmjow grins at this and waits for Gin to continue.
““˜Ah Grimmjow” The “˜child’ that acts bratty and acts like a stuck-up bastard since you was born-’”
“He called me a bas-”
“- A child who did not listen to me, acts like a total shithead when it comes to orders, does whatever comes to mind that pleases yourself, and the only one who ever was replaced by another out of everyone else.-’”
“What”?”
““˜- As a gift, I give you, a boot to the head.-’”
“A fucking wh-”
A large boot came out of nowhere and hits him in the head. Everyone gasped at that action, and some even showed it upon their face. Noitora broke the silence when he laughed. Grimmjow got up from his seat and was about to strangle Gin around the neck, but Touzen had appeared in front of him to stop him.
“Sit down and listen to the rest.”
“Listen to the rest!?! Did you see what that fake smiling bastard just did to me!?! He threw a fucking big boot at my head!”
“If that is what it says in the will, then so be it!” Touzen argued back.
Grimmjow grits his teeth and sat back down in his seat. Noitora continued to laugh.
“Oh man! This is the best meeting I have been to so far.” Noitora commented.
Gin continued, as if none of the commotion occurred.
““˜- But alas Grimmjow, you are one of my children” It seems unfair to just leave a boot to the head as your gift” So, I will be fair and bestow another gift upon you”-’”
This time, Grimmjow put a hand up to block any boots that came his way.
““˜-Since you have saved our special guest, Orihime, I am now letting you be her bodyguard while I am gone. May the both of you be happy and maybe you can finally get your own life and start a crappy family so that you can finally relax and have some morals in your life.-’”
“Start a family!? As if! But, I’m sure I can have some fun with the woman. Is that all?” Grimmjow said, removing his hands from his head.
“And a boot to the head!”
Another boot hit his head so fast, that he couldn’t dodge it even if he wanted to. Grimmjow gritted his teeth again in anger.
“Where the fuck are the boots coming from!?”
Noitora laughed at the scene and a few others chuckled lightly also.
““˜-And now, I would like to move on with the next family member” This time, it is Ulquiorra.”
“As much as I am sure you are enjoying this Gin, I don’t want a boot to my head.” Ulquiorra said, slightly moving his whole body down to avoid getting hit in the head with a boot.
Gin ignored him, although he laughed a little before he continued.
““˜-Ulquiorra, you have been by my side more than anyone else, my most faithful child” I could tell you to do something, and you would do it with no problem or talkback--- unlike Grimmjow”-’”
Grimmjow growls at the comment and he can tell that Ulquiorra was proud about what was being said about him. Ulquiorra sat up straight in his seat, waiting for his reward for all of his hard work and all of the crap he had to deal with from everyone- especially from Grimmjow.
““˜-Since you have been so good to me and treated your brothers so kindly-’”
Grimmjow scoffed and even Noitora groaned at the words.
“Here’s his big award for being a tattletale” Noitora whispered.
““˜-For all of your services, I have decided to give you, a boot to the head.-”
As quick as lightning, a boot hits him in the head and Ulquiorra head went back a little from the blow. He held his head of where he was hit. Grimmjow couldn’t contain his laughter and Noitora followed.
““˜-And another for the bastard 6th Espada!”
A boot struck Grimmjow in the head too. He didn’t even sense it coming, and Noitora cracked up even more than before.
“I-I don’t understand!?!... How come I get a boot to the head..!” Ulquiorra said, losing his usual calm face.
“There’s more Ulquiorra”. “˜But, Ulquiorra, since you are my best and most loyal ser-I mean- child- I will bestow upon you my psychology books with my original notes”-’”
“Really!?”
““˜-And another boot to the head!-’”
Another hits him in the head. Noitora completely lost his posture as he fell out of his chair, rolling with laughter. Grimmjow laughed too, but still had his guard up just in case another boot came at him.
““˜- And that is all for Ulquiorra” Now, we will move on to Stark.-’”
“I may be tired as hell, but I’m not stupid enough to get hit in the head by no boot!”
““˜- I have decided to leave you that very expensive and comfortable bed along with the pillows from my room” I have not slept in it once because I have always been working on my plans to start a new world” So, you may have it as my gift”-’”
“Really!? I can have that bed!?!” He said, now fully awake.
““˜-And a boot to the head!-’”
Stark is hit the head with a boot and instantly gets mad at Gin.
““˜-And another for the emo 4th Espada!-’”
Another boot hits Ulquiorra in the head and Grimmjow just laughed at him.
““˜-Now, moving on to Noitora.-’”
Noitora stopped laughing and stood right back up and held on to his chair.
“This had been fun and all, but I don’t think I want anything- especially if it concerns “˜boots’.” Noitora commented.
“Even if it concerns Halibel”?” Gin asked with a brow up.
Noitora face lightens.
“I’m listening!”
Gin continues Aizen’s will.
““˜-As for Noitora’s gift” It concerns Halibel” For now on, you will have the responsibility of her” And, I am asking you to start something with her--- I don’t know” Maybe a family”-’”
“See Halibel, even Aizen is ordering you to start something with me.”
““˜- Although you are a sick pervert, I’m sure she will be taken care of well, although you are a lower rank compared to her. I’m sure she’ll fix you straight if you do anything stupid or anything of the liking.-’”
Noitora just laughs and tries to tease Halibel. But, without warning, a boot hits the back of his head hard enough to knock him to the ground. This time, Halibel laughed lightly at his misfortune.
““˜-And of course a boot to the head along with that”-’”
Poor Noitora was knocked out on the floor and he groaned in pain, even Grimmjow laughed at this one. Stark couldn’t help but laugh too.
““˜-And now, we move on to Halibel”-’”
Halibel looked at Gin with cold eyes. Gin shivers from her stare and a big sweat drop appeared behind his head.
“Um” It’s all good Halibel- I pr-promise” Gin said in defense.
Halibel glared lighten a bit as she wanted for her own gift--- with no boot to the head hopefully”
““˜- Ah Halibel” A strong woman you are” Not just mentally, but physically too”-’”
Noitora woke up at that and he looked angry.
“You freaking fake smiling---- Wait a minute” Did Aizen really write that she is a beauty physically too!? Was he checking her out too!?” Noitora said, a little confused.
Gin coughs at his comment before he continued.
““˜- For you Halibel, I bestow upon you some things from Earth” Some feminine things I asked Touzen to pick up months ago just for you” Touzen-’”
Touzen flinches at the sound of his name. But, he knew it had something to do with Halibel’s gift.
““˜-As your last order from me, Aizen, give Halibel that big bag with the stuff in it that you got months ago”.-’”
Touzen just nods his head. He removes a hand from behind him and a bag was in his hand.
“What the hell?! Where that bag come from?!” Grimmjow said in surprise.
Touzen ignores him and brings the bag to Halibel. She opens it and looks inside it.
“What is this?” She asked.
Touzen just coughed in reply.
“I rather not repeat what I had to buy” Touzen said in reply.
He walks back to his spot by Gin and waited. Halibel looks down at the bag and opens it. Inside were clothes from a place called, “Victoria’s Secret””? She didn’t know the place, but she loved what she saw inside the bag that came from there. Without her realizing it, a boot hit the top of her head, but it didn’t hit her in the head hard, it was very light in fact.
“What the fuck!?! Why was she hit so lightly in the head!?!” Noitora complained.
““˜-And another boot to the head to the pervert!-’”
Noitora was hit again in the head by a boot, Halibel couldn’t help but laugh at it.
““˜-As for Szayel”-’”
“This is so predictable.” He said.
As he thought, a boot hits him in the head as quick as lightning.
“Ouch! I freaking knew it!” Szayel complained.
““˜-Well, that is all concerning family things. As for my other-’”
Gin was interrupted by Zommari’s voice.
“Excuse me Gin” If I am correct, you said that we all get something” Where is out gift--- that has nothing to do with boots”?” He asked.
Gin looked at him, somewhat confused.
“Huh..? Well- um--- there is nothing really here--- Oh wait! That’s right! Well, don’t worry about it, because there are a few more things I need to mention before I get to you guys gift and stuff” Gin said before he continued with Aizen’s will.
““˜-As for my other plans, I have decided to let Gin be the leader and take over my plans” He should know what they are by now, for I have explained the details in full to him already over a million times” Speaking of Gin, I have also bestowed a gift upon you” It is not a boot to the head, but it is--- harmful snakes being placed in my seat that I’m sure you’re foolish enough to sit in!?!-’” Gin exclaimed as he felt something bit him under his rear.
He jumps up from the seat in pain and hides behind Touzen. Some of the Espada couldn’t contain their laughter. Gin rubs his rear form the bit and continues.
““˜-I also left a gigai for all of you. I realized that none of you probably don’t want to be led by Gin as your new leader. So, all of you have an option to take the gigai and live on Earth among the humans and have happy lives” As a final gift from me to all of you-’”
“Oh boy! Cover your heads everyone!” Noitora said as a warning.
““˜- I have decided to leave each of you a expensive house with millions of dollars that I have taken from some rich human named “Bill Gates” by using my zanpakutō.’”
“Expensive houses and money?” Szayel repeated, confused.
“That’s all?” Noitora asked.
“That’s all.’” Gin replied back.
“That’s a fucking disgrace!” Grimmjow complained.
“Well, what kind of expensive houses are they?” Halibel asked.
““˜-A boot to the head!’”
Everyone got a boot to their head- hard enough to drive them nuts. Grimmjow got real mad as he stood up from his seat.
“That’s it you fucking bastard! I’m gonna-”
He was cut short when someone barged into the room. Everyone looks towards the doors as they closed behind the person---- and there stood- Ichigo!?!
:yell”I’M HERE ORI----”:yell
Ichigo stopped midsentence. He looked around and realized that everything with the atmosphere was--- weird” Grimmjow held Gin by the collar of his clothes, there were boots on the floor, and some of the Espada looked angry or annoyed. A big sweat drop appeared behind his head.
“Perhaps I have the wrong room” Ichigo said nervously.
Gin pushes Grimmjow to let him let go of his outfit. Grimmjow would have attacked Ichigo within a heartbeat, but he had a major headache from the boot incident that just took place. And he was in no mood for a battle with the shinigami.
“Ah! Ichigo Kurosaki! You have arrived just on time! Apparently, Aizen left you a gift too on this list.” Gin said with a smile as he waved the paper in the air.
Ichigo looks at us, the readers and whispers, “What’s going on here?”
“Before you ask questions Ichigo. All of the Espada were given gifts by Aizen. He has also left you one. He has it here at the bottom just in case you came too.”
Ichigo just stood there, with question marks appearing over his head.
“Wh-What”.?”
““˜To my enemy Kurosaki” I have to say that were a pain in the ass a few times, but at the same time, you have helped me benefit from your stupidness and stubbornness.-’”
“STUPID!?!?”
““˜- And so I owe you, because I wouldn’t have gotten so far in my plans if it wasn’t for you” As a gift, I leave you a “˜free life’--- from being killed or hurt by any of the Espada, or my children rather. As for the woman Orihime, you may take her for I have no needs for her any longer.-’”
“As if I’ll let the bastard take her!” Grimmjow said in anger.
““˜-Although I am sure that you have to go through some agreement with Grimmjow due to me giving her to him as his gift.’”
“Wh-What”!? Um” Well--- thanks”? Is that all?” Ichigo asked.
““˜-And a boot to the head!’”
“A wh-”
Ichigo was hit the head by a boot before he could finish his sentence. He held his head in pain and he glares at Gin. Grimmjow couldn’t help but laugh as his enemy was hurt by a mere boot.
““˜And another for the bastard 6th Espada!’”
Grimmjow was hit in the head by a boot in surprise, catching him off guard. Ichigo couldn’t help but chuckle at that, but he still glared at Gin.
“You’re so dead”!” Ichigo said as his eyes flared.
Gin just chuckled and was about to leave himself, but suddenly, the door busted open again. And there stood---- AIZEN!?! Gin froze up as he dropped the paper on the floor.
“Oh boy” Gin said quietly.
“I’m so sorry I’m late to the meeting” But apparently I fell asleep somehow and then I woke up and found pig’s blood all over me and-”
He stopped midsentence when he looked around. He was surprised to find Ichigo there, but he was even more surprised that everyone looked--- angry at him and surprised at the same time.
“A-Aizen-sama!?! But we thought you were dead!” Ulquiorra said, surprised a little.
Gin had snuck pass Aizen and was by the door, trying to leave. Ichigo was confused by the whole incident that was taking place.
“Dead? Now what gave you all the idea that I was-”
Aizen had stepped on the paper that Gin dropped. He bends down to pick it up. He glances at the paper, scanning what was on it. A vein popped on his forehead as a result- he was obviously very angry and he had lost his calm expression too. As for Gin, he was out of that meeting room before Aizen could kill him, literally.
:yell”GIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!”:yell Aizen yelled that echoed through the halls of Las Noches.
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~BONUS~ (FOR MY BIRTHDAY--- all Espada are in this one)
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All of the Espada were in the meeting room again, waiting for Aizen to come and start the meeting. As soon as everyone thought that he might not show up, they all heard the doors open. They saw two familiar faces, Gin and Touzen, but the one standing between them was a new face. The first thing they noticed was that it was a woman---- or a girl in more simple terms. She wasn’t tall or short, and her skin was just as dark as Zommari’s. She looked at least 5’5-5’7--- or something of the sort. Her hair was black, straight, and shoulder length. As for her clothes, she was wearing the usual shinigami outfit--- like Gin’s” She didn’t look strong at all, and her reiatsu was very--- weak” Even though she was wearing a shinigami outfit, she didn’t look like a shinigami user or whatever, because she wasn’t even wearing a zanpakutō. She looked more human than a shinigami. She had this smile on her face--- it wasn’t even funny” It was a real smile, but it didn’t look so real at the same time. She wasn’t afraid, in fact, she looked excited about something. The black woman took a seat in--- Aizen’s chair!?! The first to look and ask questions was Ulquiorra, not liking what he was seeing.
“What’s this? Who are you and, you are sitting in Aizen-sama seat”?” Ulquiorra asked.
“I know!” The black woman chirped.
Ulquiorra remained quiet, not sure of what to ask next. Grimmjow was just as confused, and he hated it when he was confused.
“Alright” What the fuck is going on!?!”
Gin and Touzen stood on each side of Aizen’s chair. Gin sighs.
“Well, apparently we are having this meeting for no particular reason. This meeting doesn’t concern Aizen plans, or his enemies, or for other Espada--- or even has ANYTHING to do with the series “˜BLEACH’” This is just a random meeting that all of us are required to be at” Aizen orders” Gin explained.
“WHAT!?! A useless meeting and I HAVE to stay!” Grimmjow said in outrage.
The black woman was humming happily before she spoke.
“Well, let me explain and everything” I will after I introduce myself”
Grimmjow quiet down a bit as he wanted for an explanation.
“My name is _____________ ! But, everyone online calls me, “˜Kitty’ for short” Although it is really “˜kitty8688’ or “˜kitty8688 the only’. But, “˜Kitty’ is probably easier!” She said as she looked at Grimmjow with a smile.
“And that must be very easy for you to say, right Grimmjow?”
Grimmjow thought about what she said, before he gritted his teeth in anger.
“I’m not a fucking cat or kitty! And--- how do you know my name!?!”
“Lets just say that I know because I come from a completely different dimension all together.” She responded.
“Okay” What is going on?” Ulquiorra asked.
“Ah yes! I am a human, and the reason why I am here is because I get to stay here for one whole day until my birthday passes!”
“WhAt!?! Is that what this is about!?!” Grimmjow said in outrage.
Kitty nods here head.
“Yep! And I get to have some fun with all of you! In other words, all of you have to do what I say.” Kitty chirped.
“I refuse to take orders from an unintelligent low-life.” Szayel complained.
Kitty ignores him and claps her hands together.
“Well, first thing is first! We all have to sing the “˜Happy Birthday’ song to me!”
“Sing!?! There ain’t no fucking way I’m going to sing some song to some human I don’t even know!” Grimmjow barked.
Kitty eyes grew big like puppy eyes. Grimmjow saw and he thought, “WTH!?!...?!”
“Bu-But”! You’re not being fair Grimmjow”! I’m like one of your biggest fans and you can’t do me one favor of just singing “˜Happy Birthday’ to me”?” :wtf
“What the hell are you talking about!?”
“We-Well” Where I come from, people like me get to see what’s going on at other dimensions and stuff” In this dimension” I always “˜cheer’ you on!” Kitty said with a smile.
Grimmjow was freaked out by this.
“Okay” You are really screwing with me” And I don’t like it at all” He responded.
“What? You don’t believe me”. Well, what can I say to make you”. AH! I got it! Well, I obviously wasn’t there when Touzen cut your arm off and you later told Ichigo that you cut it off yourself--- or some lie like that.”
Grimmjow bangs one hand on the table.
“What the fuck!?! How did you--- Touzen! Did you tell this woman anything!?” He said through gritted teeth.
“I’m didn’t tell her anything”.” Touzen said.
“I can vouch for that statement” Gin said.
Grimmjow was still mad.
“You’re taking it the wrong way, Grimmjow” I cheer you on as in, I hope that one day you would kill Ichigo and that you would get to beat down Ulquiorra one day.” She chirped.
“I’m right here you know.” Ulquiorra said.
Kitty ignores him as she still kept the smile on her face. Grimmjow was silent at first, but he chuckled at what she said before he spoke.
“So, you’re telling me that you support bad guys destroying your home- Earth. And we rule it”? Is that what you’re telling me? Because it sure sounds like it.”
“Pretty much.”
““.. You’re a fucking nutcase- aren’t you”?
“Well, I have one favorite on the good side””and that’s Renji”
“Who?”
“Ah! I know him! Aw, good times, good times”.” Gin said with his creepy smile.
“Anyway, don’t try to change the subject! We need to sing happy birthday to me!”
“I already told you that there is no fucking way I am going to sing some song! If that is all you’re going to let us do- then I am leaving!”
Grimmjow tried to stand up, but, for some reason, he was stuck to his chair and couldn’t get up.
“What the------ fuck”?”
“Oh yeah!”
Everyone looks at her.
“I took the time to put super-glue in all of your the sits, that way you can’t leave unless-”
Kitty takes out this bottle from her pocket.
“-I use this! This will remove the glue without ruining your clothes and stuff!”
“You put glue in the seats!?! This means you are messing up my perfect outfit! You’re lucky you’re way over there where I can’t kill you!” :yell Szayel said in anger.
“You’re fucking nuts!” Grimmjow said in outrage.
“I can’t sit here and listen to this human jabbering all day!” Noitora complained.
“I don’t really care if I’m glued to the seat, at least I can sleep now.” Stark said.
The Espada just glared daggers at him.
“All of you have no choice but to sing the song to me! If none of you don’t, I’m going to blackmail ALL of you!”
“Blackmail us”? On what!? It’s not like we have anything to hide.” Szayel said.
Everyone agreed to his statement, of course.
“Szayel, you are the scientist- correct?”
“Yes.” He said proudly.
“Well then, I know that you know what “˜Photoshop’ is- don’t you?”
Szayel eyes opened wide in surprise before he looked at Kitty.
“You wouldn’t dare”.”
“Try me.” Kitty said in reply along with a smirk.
““˜Photoshop’”? How can something call that be a threat? It sounds like bullshit to me.” Grimmjow said.
“You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you” But, let’s just say that she can use pictures that are completely harmless and can make them into something completely different and that it can mean different things altogether” Szayel explained.
“Oh yeah, like what?” Noitora asked, being curious about the whole matter.
“Like this” Kitty said.
She reaches into her pocket and pulled out a laptop.
“What the fuck!?! How did something like that fit in your pocket!?!”
Kitty puts the laptop on the table and typed some things into it before she answered Grimmjow’s question.
“Where I come from Grimmjow, there are cartoons in my area. And, some of the things they do are beyond funny. And that includes taking things from out of nowhere! Since I live in a country where cartoons are created, then I can do the same things as them””technically” Kind of like “˜The Fairly Oddparents’”
“The what”?”
Kitty ignores him and turns the laptop around for only Grimmjow to see. He looks on the screen and Kitty could “˜swear’ that she saw his whole mouth open so wide that his chin hit the table. The rest of the Espada saw his face expression too””and wondered what was on that screen. Grimmjow slammed his fist--- almost onto the laptop to break it, but Kitty was fast enough to take it away before he could do it.
“WHAT THE FUCK!?! What sicko made up this shit!?! HUH!?! Tell me so that I can go over to that person’s house and beat the shit out of him or her until they can’t move anymore! Me and that bastard don’t have anything like that!” He yelled.
“I know” You’re lucky that I’m not into that type of thing” I find it very disturbing--- not that I have anything against gay people or anything””but this is different”
Grimmjow just growls. Ulquiorra, was confused about what was going on.
“What are you talking about”?”
“Don’t you dare show him that picture!”
Kitty types something into her laptop and then shows it to Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra looks at the screen--- and completely lost his calm face expression. His eyes opened to the fullest in surprise and he looked like he froze. Grimmjow and everyone else at the table saw his face expression--- and it disturbed and scared them at the same time. Usually Ulquiorra would be the calm one, but something on that screen made him feel really bad or nervous. Grimmjow somehow already had an idea of what it was. Ulquiorra regains his normal posture again and said, “Disgusting”! Get that away from me before I will actually agree with Grimmjow to kill whoever has started those lies”
Kitty takes the laptop away from him. On that screen was a picture of him and---- one of the Espada doing---- naughty things”
“Bu-But there is good things too!” Kitty chirped as she looked at Touzen.
“Touzen! Would you mind pushing that lever thing up to show that projection thing.”
Touzen nods and does what she says. As soon as he did, her laptop desktop screen somehow was connected to the projector thing. On Kitty’s desktop was a some detailed drawn picture of Grimmjow with a---- calm face expression!?! What the-:
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q103/kitty868theonly/Picture2.jpg
“What the hell is that!?! Is that supposed to be me!? You’re a fucking pervert like Noitora! You’re no different from him!” Grimmjow said in disgust.
“Hey, hey! Be happy that I’m a fan of yours! And that I am writing oneshots about you too!” She said with a smile.
“Writing what?”
““˜Oneshots’ are just short stories that are usually one “˜chapter’ long. Dummy” Szayel explained, but said the last word quietly.
“I heard that!” Grimmjow yelled.
“ANYWAY, I’m going to show you all some things online from one site and you’ll see that I’m not the only so called, “˜nutcase’ out there.” Kitty said as she clicked on the Internet Explorer icon.
“It better not be more of those sick pictures!” Grimmjow said through his teeth.
“No! Nothing like that”.! But, it could still be---- scary to some of you” Kitty said in a low voice.
They look at the first page that pops on as her homepage in the internet--- which there were four homepages she had””one in each tab. One was called, “˜Fanfiction’, the second one was called, “˜Fiction Press’, the third one was, “˜Hotmail’, and the 4th one was called, “˜Bleach Asylum’. She clicks on the 4th tab and it shows this site--- and the banner had Aizen on it (Grimmjow groaned in annoyance), there was Gin behind him (Gin points and laughs with a smile shouting, “That’s me!”), there was Ichigo (Grimmjow growled at that and some of the Espada “˜booed’), and the other was some girl shinigami with short black hair- Rukia (Grimmjow recognized her and said that she was weak and was just a pain). On the banner was the name of the place, and then under it, it read, “Home To Bleach Maniacs”.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q103/kitty868theonly/BleachAsylum.jpg
“Looks like I was right to call you a “˜nutcase’” Grimmjow commented.
Kitty ignores him and she signs in--- wait, she didn’t need to because she was already signed in. So, she clicks around and clicked on something called, “Subscribed Threads”. A list came up and the Espada scan over the list. She was only subscribed to 6 threads it seemed--- but, only ONE of them caught all of the Espada attention. Grimmjow points at it.
“What’s that one”? The one titled, “GrimmxHime ““ Beauty and the Beast”” Noitora asked.
Szayel thought about what it said, and then he chuckled and shook his head.
“You’re not going to like this one Grimmjow” Szayel commented.
Grimmjow didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, so he ignored him.
“You want to know what it is”.?” Kitty said before she laughed evilly.
“Alright” But you asked for it”.”
She clicks on the thread. Grimmjow eyes shot open when he saw an image there of him and that woman that they brought to Las Noches not too long ago. The rest of the Espada laughed or chuckled, Noitora was really going overboard!
“Oh man! There are people that actually hope that kind of crap happens!?! And I thought I was the only pervert in the world! Hey, go down a bit so that I can see how many are part of this--- fan club!”
Grimmjow got real mad--- you can see a few “˜angry veins’ pop all over him.
“WHY YOU-!”
He was about to choke Kitty (like it’s her fault), but Touzen stepped in.
“I know you can’t get up, but don’t you dare hurt this guest” Or Aizen will have your head!” Touzen warned him.
Grimmjow forced himself to calm down a little---but he was still angry as hell.
“I’m going to---” He mumbles the rest under his breath.
“I wouldn’t complain if I was you” It’s WAY better than what I showed you a few seconds ago”
The horrible image he saw on her screen came to his mind before he shudders at the thought.
“Don’t remind me!” He yelled.
“Hey, how many member are there!?” Noitora asked, still interested on what he was seeing.
“Well--- um--- there are approximately 35-40 members” Maybe” I didn’t count them or anything”
Noitora looks at the rest of the stuff with his one eye.
“There’s fanart and fanfiction of this!?! Oh man! This is scary””but “˜cute’ too!” He commented as he turned his head to look at Grimmjow.
“This is NOT “˜cute’! It’s sick and--- well, not sick” But it is still crazy! What makes people think this type of thing will happen!?!?” Grimmjow said, now getting angry again.
“Hey! Don’t crush our “˜dreams’ okay! You should be happy that there are fan clubs of these type of things you know!” Kitty said in defense.
“I don’t give a shit! This is violating my rights! Didn’t ANYONE ask how I would feel about these types of things!? NO! Humans are too selfish to consider what I think!” Grimmjow said.
“Man” Why are you so difficult”? Well fine, I’ll show a thing concerning Ulquiorra”
“I don’t like where this is going” Ulquiorra said in his usual emotionless matter.
Kitty clicks around and goes to another thread that said, “~Unspoken Words~” and something else, but nobody saw the rest because she was clicking super fast. But, the picture that popped up on the screen even made Ulquiorra lose his normal posture. Noitora laughed.
“OH MAN! This is funny!” Noitora commented.
Grimmjow growled at what he was seeing before he looked at Ulquiorra.
“This has nothing to do with me” I did not approve such a thing” Ulquiorra said before Grimmjow could get further with his insults.
“Yeah well, I personally am not into this type of pairing, but I don’t insult the fans or anything like that” But, look how many members there are”
Kitty scrolls down until there was the number “˜94’ in bold that looked green.
“94 MEMBERS!?!? What the fuck!?!” Grimmjow yelled.
“That’s an impressive number” Ulquiorra said in a low voice.
Grimmjow just glared at him.
“Wow” So the emo bastard is everyone’s favorite huh? So, they don’t care if he tells on us--- even about the dumbest things in the world” I feel unloved” Noitora said.
Kitty sighs.
“I know” It seems that Ulquiorra beats you in everything, Grimmjow”
“What you say!?”
“Let me show you something else”
Kitty leaves the thread and goes to another that read, “Who is the sexiest man in Bleach?” She shows the winners, and all of the Espada got mad on who was number 1--- and then Grimmjow got mad at what he saw as number 2.
“That damn bastard shinigami is #1!?! Bullshit! And--- what the fuck is that for #2!?! Ulquiorra as #2! Bullshit!” Grimmjow yelled.
Ulquiorra couldn’t help but look away and it was very unnoticeable, but he actually smiled at the victory he won over Grimmjow. Noitora looks at the list and scoffed.
“Well Grimmjow, you should be happy that you are # 6- it is your number after all” Kitty commented.
He just glares at her in result, causing her to back down.
“I’m #27! That’s horrible! I should be in a higher position!” Noitora complained.
“I’m surprised you made it on there are all” Kitty said quietly, hoping Noitora didn’t hear her.
“What you say?”
“Nothing!” She chirped.
“Hmph! I’m #22” Well, it’s better than Noitora’s” Szayel said.
“Hey! I’m #8!” Gin said with a smile, happy with his place.
“I’m #32”? I’m lower than all of the Espada”? That’s wrong” Touzen said.
“Wow” Even Luppi is being voted in” And it looks like he is winning” Halibel said, speaking for the first time.
“And not just that, Grimmjow, you beat Aizen-sama by one number” Zommari said.
Grimmjow saw it and actually laughed.
“Well, won’t “˜Aizen-sama’ be pissed with those results!” Grimmjow said.
“Wow” I’m #25” And I didn’t even do anything yet” Stark said.
Kitty goes off of the thread and clicks on one that read, “Bleach Fan Clubs- Master List”.
Kitty makes the list big enough for everyone to see the whole list at once. A lot of the Espada were satisfied with what they were seeing.
“WOW! Even Yammy has his own fan club! This is interesting”
The others didn’t say anything, they were just proud that some humans actually appreciated them enough to make a fan club for them. However, when they glanced at the pairing fan clubs- they did not like some of them. Noitora was proud with two of them.
“Well well! There is a fan club for me and pet-sama! And the other is me and Halibel!” He looks at Halibel with his one good eye.
“It looks like it’s not just me that thinks we should be together.”
“Shut-up before I break you.” Halibel threaten.
“That’s disgusting.” Ulquiorra said, referring to the Noitora X Orihime fan club.
“Hey! Leave my fans alone! I wouldn’t be talking about anything Ulquiorra- or Grimmjow! Cause I see one fan club that doesn’t look very nice to me!” Noitora said as he grinned.
Ulquiorra and Grimmjow knew what he was talking about, and decided to remain silent about the whole matter.
“Anyway, who is the creator of both of the clubs?” Noitora asked.
“Well, for the Nnoitora X Halibel one, it’s by a female named “˜ilovemybishies’. And for the other fan club- Nnoitora X Orihime, it’s some male named “˜mitzibe’”
“Make sure you thank them both for me! Tell them I will forever be in debt to them. They have my thanks! And also, when it is time for us to destroy the world, I’ll let them live and whoever are members of both clubs will be included too!”
He looks at Kitty.
“You’re a member of one of the clubs- right?”
“Um- well- HEY! There’s one for Aizen too!”
They all looked and Kitty sighed in relief, glad that they fell for the “˜bait’.
“Eww”! One for Aizen and pet-sama” Now that’s gross!” Noitora said in disgust.
“Noitora, don’t say such things about Aizen-sama” If this interest him, then it would be best to not make such comments” Ulquiorra said quietly.
Grimmjow remained silent, he didn’t want to say what was going on in his mind about that club. Gin blinks his eyes at one of the clubs.
“Gin X Rukia”.? Hmm”. I don’t really have a thing with her”. I mean, she’s alright but I really have an interest for-”
“What is that I see?!” Noitora yelled in outrage.
“Is that a club for me and Nelilel!?! What idiot thought of that one!?!” Noitora yelled in anger.
“Um” I think this is enough talking about fan clubs” Kitty said as she exits out of the internet completely.
“Hey! I want an explanation for that one!” Noitora yelled.
“Please calm down Noitora” And, please respect everyone’s threads and all” It’s not very nice”
“I don’t give a rats ass about respect! I want a law-”
Noitora was quiet down when Halibel glared at him coldly, he instantly shut his trap, but he mumbled things under his breath still.
“Now, that I have made some of you happy and upset at the same time, I would like my birthday song now!” Kitty chirped.
Noitora sighed.
“You’re one annoying woman- you know that? How old are you anyway?”
“I’m __ years old.” She said with a smile.
Noitora smiles.
“Well, you’re fresh aren’t you? Not too young or old--- but just right” You beat pet-sama age, but still”
Halibel just glared t him again, he instantly quiets down.
“Anyway” I would like my song now”
“I already told you-”
“I’m ready with your blackmail Grimmjow” She said before he could even finish his sentence.
He instantly quiets down. He sighed in annoyance.
“This--- is--- going--- to--- ruin--- me--- for--- life” Grimmjow said under his breath.
“I’ll start” Yammy said with boredom.
He took a big breath and----
WAY LATER IN THE DAY”.
“Well, I’m leaving now! It was fun hanging with you guys! Since there is only one hour left before my birthday ends!” She chirped.
“You’re leaving?” Szayel asked.
“Aw! You’ll miss me?” Kitty asked with puppy-like eyes. :wtf
“No. It’s just that I was planning to eat you.” Szayel said without hesitation.
Kitty just opened her mouth in disbelief :eek:, but then shook her head and laughed instead :laugh.
“Anyway---”
She walks behind Grimmjow’s chair and hugged him.
“What the fuck! Didn’t I tell you not to touch me you freaking pervert!” :yell:hug
Kitty just laughed at him and looked at Ulquiorra, who was emotionless as ever.
“I don’t like you very much”
“I figured that already.” He responded back.
“But---”
She ran behind his chair and gave him a hug too.
“But, you need a hug too.”
Ulquiorra didn’t say anything or react to it. :confused::hug
“Hey! What about me!?” :yell Noitora said in outrage.
“Um” I think I’ll stay away from you” But, I have to admit that I never knew you were so funny!” :D She said with a smile.
Noitora laughed at the comment.
“You’re no fun” At least you are a lot nicer then Halibel here”
“I’m going to take care of you later” Halibel said in response.
“Well at least leave a number or something!” Noitora said, ignoring Halibel somewhat.
“Um” No”
Without further ado, Touzen opens a portal thing that would lead to her home. Kitty waves goodbye before she jumped through. There was silence in the room.
“Glad she’s gone! She was a pain in the ass! Making us talk about nothing but predictions and shit!” Grimmjow said.
“It seems to me that you were enjoying a few of the topics she was discussing about- especially the ones that concerned negative things towards me.” Ulquiorra said.
“I thought she was alright--- and I would have thought of other things about her too if she gave me a hug at least.” Noitora said with a smile.
There was silence again, and this time, Aaroniero spoke.
“Wait a minute” How are we going to get out of our seats since we are still glued to them”?”
There was silence, and then all of the Espada shouted at once, :yell “KIIIITTTYYY!!”:yell
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AUTHOR’S COMMENTS/NOTES
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MU-HA-HA-HA! I’m so evil! I had fun doing this random thing! And yes, it is my birthday today---- as of December 13, 2007”. *cough* anyway! I hope I did not offend anyone, I was not insulting any fan clubs of any kind and I kept all comments about fan clubs to myself (negative and a few positive ones). Since it was my birthday today, I just thought I write something random!:) This oneshot took me a while to write, but I managed to get it done before 8PM---- right before my test” And I hope everyone enjoyed it! Leave a review if you want--- I kind of don’t care anymore (although reviews are very nice and make me happy).:) And yes, the names I mentioned for the two fanclubs are the names I saw there in charge of the clubs @ BA [here]! And yes, the clubs I mentioned are also real @ BA [here]! So, feel free to check out those fanclubs if they interest you (And--- GRIMMJOW X ORIHIME NEEDS MORE LOVE :yell:cry) So, please come support that one and others--- if they interest you... Hope you enjoyed the onshot- and goodbye for now!
Title: Aizen’s Will
By: kitty868theonly
Rating: T-T+; Curse words and indications of very, very small lemon/sexual terms
Type of Story: BLEACH; Oneshot; General & Humor.
Quick Summary: Aizen is--- DEAD!?! But, Aizen knew this day would come one day--- but not so early BEFORE the winter war”! But, before he died though, he left his Will on what everyone needs to do and what everyone can have once he died. And, the one who needs to read it is--- GIN!?! Something is not right here”! [Side note/Clue/Credit: this story was inspired by a YouTube video that was/is rated #7 for comedy] (BONUS at the end---- for my BIRTHDAY)
Special Appearances (In order of Appearance): Gin, Touzen, ALL of the Espada are in this oneshot, and---- ICHIGO!? (WTH!?) [Side note 2: Nnoitora’s name will be spelled as Noitora in this story because it sounds/looks better that way to me]
Started On & Completed Date: December 12th (Start Date) & December 13th (Complete Date) YEAR 2007
Total Pages: 24 (Including my comments and the BONUS)
DISCLAIMER: I obviously DON’T OWN BLEACH--- and I don’t own the YouTube video I am talking about either---- nor am I the creator of the video or the characters made/shown in that video. For the YouTube video, go here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo & http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5kGUW6M7W0&feature=related
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All of the Espada were in their seats, waiting for Aizen to arrive and start the meeting. But, to everyone’s surprise, he hadn’t shown up yet. The meeting should have started 10 minutes ago. This was how everyone knew that something was wrong, especially if he was late to his own meeting.
“Alright, what the fuck is going on!?” A certain blue-haired Espada said with the number 6 labeled on his back.
“Who knows?! Maybe the man finally crooked.” Another Espada said as he cackled, who was at the other end of the table with only one eye looking around.
“Well I hope he hurries up, because I am still tired as hell!” Another Espada said that has his hair “wavy” somewhat and a little goatee.
“Everyone calm down. I’m sure Aizen-sama has his reasons for being late.” A certain emotionless Espada said, who was sitting right across from the blue-haired Espada.
“I don’t give a fuck Ulquiorra! He always tells us to be on time, and yet he is late to his own meeting! I hate waiting for things that is probably meaningless!” The blue-haired Espada replied to the emotionless Espada, Ulquiorra.
“Sometimes I wonder how you became an Espada, Grimmjow.” Ulquiorra said back, now trying to insult him.
“What you say you-”
“SHHH! I hear footsteps!” A woman said that always had her mouth covered.
They all look towards the door and waited for the door to open. The door opens, and in walks in Gin and Touzen---- but no Aizen!? All of the Espada are surprised that he wasn’t with them, especially Ulquiorra. Gin and Touzen walked to the table and they stood by Aizen large chair. Gin had a frown upon his face and Touzen looked disturbed too, but he didn’t show it as much. To everyone further surprise, Gin sat in Aizen’s “˜throne’ chair. The first one to speak was Ulquiorra.
“Gin” What are you doing in Aizen-sama’s seat”!?” Ulquiorra, with a very small hint of anger.
Gin didn’t respond. He simply took out a piece of paper that was hidden inside his sleeves. The paper was rolled up, but he unrolled it and held it in front of himself to read it. But, before he began to read, he looks up and looks at all of the Espada.
“Before I tell everyone the--- news” I need to do a quick attendance of everyone--- in no particular order”
“Ulquiorra”
“Here” the emotionless Espada said.
“Grimmjow”
“I’m fucking right here!” The blue-haired Espada said, losing his patients.
Gin ignores him and moves on.
“Stark”
“I’m physically here, but my mind is not.” The Espada said that had his hair “˜wavy’ somewhat and a little goatee
Gin ignores his comment.
“Zommari”
“Here” The dark-skinned Espada said with his deep voice and yet quietly.
“Noitora”
Noitora cackles before he replied.
“I’m here--- right next to the most beautiful woman in Las Noches.” The Espada said that had only one eye looking out, while his other eye was hidden behind an eye patch.
The woman next to him rolled her eyes and sighed. Gin ignored the both of them and continued.
“Szayel”
“The genius is here.” The pink-haired Espada said with a smile.
“Halibel”
“Here” The dark-skinned woman said that always had her mouth covered.
Gin stopped for a moment, trying to remember the old man Espada’s name.
“Um” The old man looking Espada”
The old man Espada groaned in annoyance.
“My name is ------------”
Gin laughed nervously.
“Ah yes, sorry about that”
Gin moves on.
“Aaroniero”
“Here” The Espada said that had his face covered, that somewhat shocked everyone because he hardly spoke unless he really needed to.
Gin was momentarily surprised before he continued.
“And finally, Yammy”
“Here” Another dark-skinned male Espada said with boredom.
“Alright, now that you that everyone is here, let’s get to the damn point!” Grimmjow said.
Gin puts up his hands in “˜defense’.
“Ah yes..! I might as well tell everyone now”
Gin coughs for a second to clear his throat and chuckled nervously.
“W-Well everyone” I have some really bad news and some good news” Gin said.
Nobody said anything, because they wanted to hear what it was before saying anything.
“Let me start with the bad news first”
Gin paused for a moment before he continued.
“Aizen is”.. He is---- dead”
Everyone gasped in surprise at the table, except for Touzen, Gin, and Ulquiorra. Grimmjow eyes had this surprised expression on his face, even his eyes were open wide.
“Wh-What the fuck did you just say”?” Grimmjow said, trying to see if it was true or some sick joke Gin was playing.
“I said Aizen is dead”. And I am very serious about the matter”
Again, nobody spoke. Grimmjow grinned and laughed like some nutcase that was just admitted to the psycho-ward.
“Alright Gin! You had me there for a second, but we all know that you are the prankster type of guy. So, tell us the real bad news.” Grimmjow said, with the grin still upon his face.
Gin looks at him with a frown on his face.
“I assure you Grimmjow, that I am not joking” Gin said with a straight face.
Grimmjow grin disappeared from his face. Ulquiorra blinked his eyes once before he looked at Gin with his “˜oh-so-serious’ expression.
“I don’t believe it. I don’t see any evidence of this, not even his body. And, dare I ask how did he died?”
“Evidence? You are a smart one Ulquiorra” But, if it is evidence that you want- why don’t you leave and tell me what you see in his room? I know it isn’t ketchup all over his body.” Gin remarked.
To his surprise, Ulquiorra didn’t get up. Instead, he closed his eyes and kept them that way. The Espada remained silent, trying to figure out what to do with themselves since their leader was dead. Gin remained quiet for a few seconds, before his face expression changed to the usual smile.
“Don’t despair everyone! Because I have good news too!”
Everyone looked at him; a few of them gave him this odd look on their face. Gin waved the paper in the air for all to see.
“This paper here is his will that he left. So, without further ado, I would like to read it!”
Gin held the paper in front of his face.
“It seems that in his will, he left something for each of you.” Gin said before he looked back at the paper.
“H-he left us with stuff”?” Ulquiorra said, with a hint of surprise.
Gin nods his head before he continued.
“And these are his exact words”. “˜To all of my wonderful children that I cared for deeply and taken care of so well-’”
Noitora cackled at those words.
“That’s a laugh!” He commented.
Gin ignored him and continued.
““˜- Since I knew this day would come, I have prepared myself by making this will” And, as I am sure all of you know, Gin has explained already that I will give some stuff to all of you” Each of you will bear a wonderful gift that I’m sure all of you will benefit from”-’”
“Him leaving us gifts? That’s not like the prick at all.” Grimmjow commented.
Gin continues, ignoring his comment completely.
““˜-The first I am going to start off with is the one that seats right next to me--- Grimmjow”-’”
Grimmjow grins at this and waits for Gin to continue.
““˜Ah Grimmjow” The “˜child’ that acts bratty and acts like a stuck-up bastard since you was born-’”
“He called me a bas-”
“- A child who did not listen to me, acts like a total shithead when it comes to orders, does whatever comes to mind that pleases yourself, and the only one who ever was replaced by another out of everyone else.-’”
“What”?”
““˜- As a gift, I give you, a boot to the head.-’”
“A fucking wh-”
A large boot came out of nowhere and hits him in the head. Everyone gasped at that action, and some even showed it upon their face. Noitora broke the silence when he laughed. Grimmjow got up from his seat and was about to strangle Gin around the neck, but Touzen had appeared in front of him to stop him.
“Sit down and listen to the rest.”
“Listen to the rest!?! Did you see what that fake smiling bastard just did to me!?! He threw a fucking big boot at my head!”
“If that is what it says in the will, then so be it!” Touzen argued back.
Grimmjow grits his teeth and sat back down in his seat. Noitora continued to laugh.
“Oh man! This is the best meeting I have been to so far.” Noitora commented.
Gin continued, as if none of the commotion occurred.
““˜- But alas Grimmjow, you are one of my children” It seems unfair to just leave a boot to the head as your gift” So, I will be fair and bestow another gift upon you”-’”
This time, Grimmjow put a hand up to block any boots that came his way.
““˜-Since you have saved our special guest, Orihime, I am now letting you be her bodyguard while I am gone. May the both of you be happy and maybe you can finally get your own life and start a crappy family so that you can finally relax and have some morals in your life.-’”
“Start a family!? As if! But, I’m sure I can have some fun with the woman. Is that all?” Grimmjow said, removing his hands from his head.
“And a boot to the head!”
Another boot hit his head so fast, that he couldn’t dodge it even if he wanted to. Grimmjow gritted his teeth again in anger.
“Where the fuck are the boots coming from!?”
Noitora laughed at the scene and a few others chuckled lightly also.
““˜-And now, I would like to move on with the next family member” This time, it is Ulquiorra.”
“As much as I am sure you are enjoying this Gin, I don’t want a boot to my head.” Ulquiorra said, slightly moving his whole body down to avoid getting hit in the head with a boot.
Gin ignored him, although he laughed a little before he continued.
““˜-Ulquiorra, you have been by my side more than anyone else, my most faithful child” I could tell you to do something, and you would do it with no problem or talkback--- unlike Grimmjow”-’”
Grimmjow growls at the comment and he can tell that Ulquiorra was proud about what was being said about him. Ulquiorra sat up straight in his seat, waiting for his reward for all of his hard work and all of the crap he had to deal with from everyone- especially from Grimmjow.
““˜-Since you have been so good to me and treated your brothers so kindly-’”
Grimmjow scoffed and even Noitora groaned at the words.
“Here’s his big award for being a tattletale” Noitora whispered.
““˜-For all of your services, I have decided to give you, a boot to the head.-”
As quick as lightning, a boot hits him in the head and Ulquiorra head went back a little from the blow. He held his head of where he was hit. Grimmjow couldn’t contain his laughter and Noitora followed.
““˜-And another for the bastard 6th Espada!”
A boot struck Grimmjow in the head too. He didn’t even sense it coming, and Noitora cracked up even more than before.
“I-I don’t understand!?!... How come I get a boot to the head..!” Ulquiorra said, losing his usual calm face.
“There’s more Ulquiorra”. “˜But, Ulquiorra, since you are my best and most loyal ser-I mean- child- I will bestow upon you my psychology books with my original notes”-’”
“Really!?”
““˜-And another boot to the head!-’”
Another hits him in the head. Noitora completely lost his posture as he fell out of his chair, rolling with laughter. Grimmjow laughed too, but still had his guard up just in case another boot came at him.
““˜- And that is all for Ulquiorra” Now, we will move on to Stark.-’”
“I may be tired as hell, but I’m not stupid enough to get hit in the head by no boot!”
““˜- I have decided to leave you that very expensive and comfortable bed along with the pillows from my room” I have not slept in it once because I have always been working on my plans to start a new world” So, you may have it as my gift”-’”
“Really!? I can have that bed!?!” He said, now fully awake.
““˜-And a boot to the head!-’”
Stark is hit the head with a boot and instantly gets mad at Gin.
““˜-And another for the emo 4th Espada!-’”
Another boot hits Ulquiorra in the head and Grimmjow just laughed at him.
““˜-Now, moving on to Noitora.-’”
Noitora stopped laughing and stood right back up and held on to his chair.
“This had been fun and all, but I don’t think I want anything- especially if it concerns “˜boots’.” Noitora commented.
“Even if it concerns Halibel”?” Gin asked with a brow up.
Noitora face lightens.
“I’m listening!”
Gin continues Aizen’s will.
““˜-As for Noitora’s gift” It concerns Halibel” For now on, you will have the responsibility of her” And, I am asking you to start something with her--- I don’t know” Maybe a family”-’”
“See Halibel, even Aizen is ordering you to start something with me.”
““˜- Although you are a sick pervert, I’m sure she will be taken care of well, although you are a lower rank compared to her. I’m sure she’ll fix you straight if you do anything stupid or anything of the liking.-’”
Noitora just laughs and tries to tease Halibel. But, without warning, a boot hits the back of his head hard enough to knock him to the ground. This time, Halibel laughed lightly at his misfortune.
““˜-And of course a boot to the head along with that”-’”
Poor Noitora was knocked out on the floor and he groaned in pain, even Grimmjow laughed at this one. Stark couldn’t help but laugh too.
““˜-And now, we move on to Halibel”-’”
Halibel looked at Gin with cold eyes. Gin shivers from her stare and a big sweat drop appeared behind his head.
“Um” It’s all good Halibel- I pr-promise” Gin said in defense.
Halibel glared lighten a bit as she wanted for her own gift--- with no boot to the head hopefully”
““˜- Ah Halibel” A strong woman you are” Not just mentally, but physically too”-’”
Noitora woke up at that and he looked angry.
“You freaking fake smiling---- Wait a minute” Did Aizen really write that she is a beauty physically too!? Was he checking her out too!?” Noitora said, a little confused.
Gin coughs at his comment before he continued.
““˜- For you Halibel, I bestow upon you some things from Earth” Some feminine things I asked Touzen to pick up months ago just for you” Touzen-’”
Touzen flinches at the sound of his name. But, he knew it had something to do with Halibel’s gift.
““˜-As your last order from me, Aizen, give Halibel that big bag with the stuff in it that you got months ago”.-’”
Touzen just nods his head. He removes a hand from behind him and a bag was in his hand.
“What the hell?! Where that bag come from?!” Grimmjow said in surprise.
Touzen ignores him and brings the bag to Halibel. She opens it and looks inside it.
“What is this?” She asked.
Touzen just coughed in reply.
“I rather not repeat what I had to buy” Touzen said in reply.
He walks back to his spot by Gin and waited. Halibel looks down at the bag and opens it. Inside were clothes from a place called, “Victoria’s Secret””? She didn’t know the place, but she loved what she saw inside the bag that came from there. Without her realizing it, a boot hit the top of her head, but it didn’t hit her in the head hard, it was very light in fact.
“What the fuck!?! Why was she hit so lightly in the head!?!” Noitora complained.
““˜-And another boot to the head to the pervert!-’”
Noitora was hit again in the head by a boot, Halibel couldn’t help but laugh at it.
““˜-As for Szayel”-’”
“This is so predictable.” He said.
As he thought, a boot hits him in the head as quick as lightning.
“Ouch! I freaking knew it!” Szayel complained.
““˜-Well, that is all concerning family things. As for my other-’”
Gin was interrupted by Zommari’s voice.
“Excuse me Gin” If I am correct, you said that we all get something” Where is out gift--- that has nothing to do with boots”?” He asked.
Gin looked at him, somewhat confused.
“Huh..? Well- um--- there is nothing really here--- Oh wait! That’s right! Well, don’t worry about it, because there are a few more things I need to mention before I get to you guys gift and stuff” Gin said before he continued with Aizen’s will.
““˜-As for my other plans, I have decided to let Gin be the leader and take over my plans” He should know what they are by now, for I have explained the details in full to him already over a million times” Speaking of Gin, I have also bestowed a gift upon you” It is not a boot to the head, but it is--- harmful snakes being placed in my seat that I’m sure you’re foolish enough to sit in!?!-’” Gin exclaimed as he felt something bit him under his rear.
He jumps up from the seat in pain and hides behind Touzen. Some of the Espada couldn’t contain their laughter. Gin rubs his rear form the bit and continues.
““˜-I also left a gigai for all of you. I realized that none of you probably don’t want to be led by Gin as your new leader. So, all of you have an option to take the gigai and live on Earth among the humans and have happy lives” As a final gift from me to all of you-’”
“Oh boy! Cover your heads everyone!” Noitora said as a warning.
““˜- I have decided to leave each of you a expensive house with millions of dollars that I have taken from some rich human named “Bill Gates” by using my zanpakutō.’”
“Expensive houses and money?” Szayel repeated, confused.
“That’s all?” Noitora asked.
“That’s all.’” Gin replied back.
“That’s a fucking disgrace!” Grimmjow complained.
“Well, what kind of expensive houses are they?” Halibel asked.
““˜-A boot to the head!’”
Everyone got a boot to their head- hard enough to drive them nuts. Grimmjow got real mad as he stood up from his seat.
“That’s it you fucking bastard! I’m gonna-”
He was cut short when someone barged into the room. Everyone looks towards the doors as they closed behind the person---- and there stood- Ichigo!?!
:yell”I’M HERE ORI----”:yell
Ichigo stopped midsentence. He looked around and realized that everything with the atmosphere was--- weird” Grimmjow held Gin by the collar of his clothes, there were boots on the floor, and some of the Espada looked angry or annoyed. A big sweat drop appeared behind his head.
“Perhaps I have the wrong room” Ichigo said nervously.
Gin pushes Grimmjow to let him let go of his outfit. Grimmjow would have attacked Ichigo within a heartbeat, but he had a major headache from the boot incident that just took place. And he was in no mood for a battle with the shinigami.
“Ah! Ichigo Kurosaki! You have arrived just on time! Apparently, Aizen left you a gift too on this list.” Gin said with a smile as he waved the paper in the air.
Ichigo looks at us, the readers and whispers, “What’s going on here?”
“Before you ask questions Ichigo. All of the Espada were given gifts by Aizen. He has also left you one. He has it here at the bottom just in case you came too.”
Ichigo just stood there, with question marks appearing over his head.
“Wh-What”.?”
““˜To my enemy Kurosaki” I have to say that were a pain in the ass a few times, but at the same time, you have helped me benefit from your stupidness and stubbornness.-’”
“STUPID!?!?”
““˜- And so I owe you, because I wouldn’t have gotten so far in my plans if it wasn’t for you” As a gift, I leave you a “˜free life’--- from being killed or hurt by any of the Espada, or my children rather. As for the woman Orihime, you may take her for I have no needs for her any longer.-’”
“As if I’ll let the bastard take her!” Grimmjow said in anger.
““˜-Although I am sure that you have to go through some agreement with Grimmjow due to me giving her to him as his gift.’”
“Wh-What”!? Um” Well--- thanks”? Is that all?” Ichigo asked.
““˜-And a boot to the head!’”
“A wh-”
Ichigo was hit the head by a boot before he could finish his sentence. He held his head in pain and he glares at Gin. Grimmjow couldn’t help but laugh as his enemy was hurt by a mere boot.
““˜And another for the bastard 6th Espada!’”
Grimmjow was hit in the head by a boot in surprise, catching him off guard. Ichigo couldn’t help but chuckle at that, but he still glared at Gin.
“You’re so dead”!” Ichigo said as his eyes flared.
Gin just chuckled and was about to leave himself, but suddenly, the door busted open again. And there stood---- AIZEN!?! Gin froze up as he dropped the paper on the floor.
“Oh boy” Gin said quietly.
“I’m so sorry I’m late to the meeting” But apparently I fell asleep somehow and then I woke up and found pig’s blood all over me and-”
He stopped midsentence when he looked around. He was surprised to find Ichigo there, but he was even more surprised that everyone looked--- angry at him and surprised at the same time.
“A-Aizen-sama!?! But we thought you were dead!” Ulquiorra said, surprised a little.
Gin had snuck pass Aizen and was by the door, trying to leave. Ichigo was confused by the whole incident that was taking place.
“Dead? Now what gave you all the idea that I was-”
Aizen had stepped on the paper that Gin dropped. He bends down to pick it up. He glances at the paper, scanning what was on it. A vein popped on his forehead as a result- he was obviously very angry and he had lost his calm expression too. As for Gin, he was out of that meeting room before Aizen could kill him, literally.
:yell”GIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!”:yell Aizen yelled that echoed through the halls of Las Noches.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~BONUS~ (FOR MY BIRTHDAY--- all Espada are in this one)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All of the Espada were in the meeting room again, waiting for Aizen to come and start the meeting. As soon as everyone thought that he might not show up, they all heard the doors open. They saw two familiar faces, Gin and Touzen, but the one standing between them was a new face. The first thing they noticed was that it was a woman---- or a girl in more simple terms. She wasn’t tall or short, and her skin was just as dark as Zommari’s. She looked at least 5’5-5’7--- or something of the sort. Her hair was black, straight, and shoulder length. As for her clothes, she was wearing the usual shinigami outfit--- like Gin’s” She didn’t look strong at all, and her reiatsu was very--- weak” Even though she was wearing a shinigami outfit, she didn’t look like a shinigami user or whatever, because she wasn’t even wearing a zanpakutō. She looked more human than a shinigami. She had this smile on her face--- it wasn’t even funny” It was a real smile, but it didn’t look so real at the same time. She wasn’t afraid, in fact, she looked excited about something. The black woman took a seat in--- Aizen’s chair!?! The first to look and ask questions was Ulquiorra, not liking what he was seeing.
“What’s this? Who are you and, you are sitting in Aizen-sama seat”?” Ulquiorra asked.
“I know!” The black woman chirped.
Ulquiorra remained quiet, not sure of what to ask next. Grimmjow was just as confused, and he hated it when he was confused.
“Alright” What the fuck is going on!?!”
Gin and Touzen stood on each side of Aizen’s chair. Gin sighs.
“Well, apparently we are having this meeting for no particular reason. This meeting doesn’t concern Aizen plans, or his enemies, or for other Espada--- or even has ANYTHING to do with the series “˜BLEACH’” This is just a random meeting that all of us are required to be at” Aizen orders” Gin explained.
“WHAT!?! A useless meeting and I HAVE to stay!” Grimmjow said in outrage.
The black woman was humming happily before she spoke.
“Well, let me explain and everything” I will after I introduce myself”
Grimmjow quiet down a bit as he wanted for an explanation.
“My name is _____________ ! But, everyone online calls me, “˜Kitty’ for short” Although it is really “˜kitty8688’ or “˜kitty8688 the only’. But, “˜Kitty’ is probably easier!” She said as she looked at Grimmjow with a smile.
“And that must be very easy for you to say, right Grimmjow?”
Grimmjow thought about what she said, before he gritted his teeth in anger.
“I’m not a fucking cat or kitty! And--- how do you know my name!?!”
“Lets just say that I know because I come from a completely different dimension all together.” She responded.
“Okay” What is going on?” Ulquiorra asked.
“Ah yes! I am a human, and the reason why I am here is because I get to stay here for one whole day until my birthday passes!”
“WhAt!?! Is that what this is about!?!” Grimmjow said in outrage.
Kitty nods here head.
“Yep! And I get to have some fun with all of you! In other words, all of you have to do what I say.” Kitty chirped.
“I refuse to take orders from an unintelligent low-life.” Szayel complained.
Kitty ignores him and claps her hands together.
“Well, first thing is first! We all have to sing the “˜Happy Birthday’ song to me!”
“Sing!?! There ain’t no fucking way I’m going to sing some song to some human I don’t even know!” Grimmjow barked.
Kitty eyes grew big like puppy eyes. Grimmjow saw and he thought, “WTH!?!...?!”
“Bu-But”! You’re not being fair Grimmjow”! I’m like one of your biggest fans and you can’t do me one favor of just singing “˜Happy Birthday’ to me”?” :wtf
“What the hell are you talking about!?”
“We-Well” Where I come from, people like me get to see what’s going on at other dimensions and stuff” In this dimension” I always “˜cheer’ you on!” Kitty said with a smile.
Grimmjow was freaked out by this.
“Okay” You are really screwing with me” And I don’t like it at all” He responded.
“What? You don’t believe me”. Well, what can I say to make you”. AH! I got it! Well, I obviously wasn’t there when Touzen cut your arm off and you later told Ichigo that you cut it off yourself--- or some lie like that.”
Grimmjow bangs one hand on the table.
“What the fuck!?! How did you--- Touzen! Did you tell this woman anything!?” He said through gritted teeth.
“I’m didn’t tell her anything”.” Touzen said.
“I can vouch for that statement” Gin said.
Grimmjow was still mad.
“You’re taking it the wrong way, Grimmjow” I cheer you on as in, I hope that one day you would kill Ichigo and that you would get to beat down Ulquiorra one day.” She chirped.
“I’m right here you know.” Ulquiorra said.
Kitty ignores him as she still kept the smile on her face. Grimmjow was silent at first, but he chuckled at what she said before he spoke.
“So, you’re telling me that you support bad guys destroying your home- Earth. And we rule it”? Is that what you’re telling me? Because it sure sounds like it.”
“Pretty much.”
““.. You’re a fucking nutcase- aren’t you”?
“Well, I have one favorite on the good side””and that’s Renji”
“Who?”
“Ah! I know him! Aw, good times, good times”.” Gin said with his creepy smile.
“Anyway, don’t try to change the subject! We need to sing happy birthday to me!”
“I already told you that there is no fucking way I am going to sing some song! If that is all you’re going to let us do- then I am leaving!”
Grimmjow tried to stand up, but, for some reason, he was stuck to his chair and couldn’t get up.
“What the------ fuck”?”
“Oh yeah!”
Everyone looks at her.
“I took the time to put super-glue in all of your the sits, that way you can’t leave unless-”
Kitty takes out this bottle from her pocket.
“-I use this! This will remove the glue without ruining your clothes and stuff!”
“You put glue in the seats!?! This means you are messing up my perfect outfit! You’re lucky you’re way over there where I can’t kill you!” :yell Szayel said in anger.
“You’re fucking nuts!” Grimmjow said in outrage.
“I can’t sit here and listen to this human jabbering all day!” Noitora complained.
“I don’t really care if I’m glued to the seat, at least I can sleep now.” Stark said.
The Espada just glared daggers at him.
“All of you have no choice but to sing the song to me! If none of you don’t, I’m going to blackmail ALL of you!”
“Blackmail us”? On what!? It’s not like we have anything to hide.” Szayel said.
Everyone agreed to his statement, of course.
“Szayel, you are the scientist- correct?”
“Yes.” He said proudly.
“Well then, I know that you know what “˜Photoshop’ is- don’t you?”
Szayel eyes opened wide in surprise before he looked at Kitty.
“You wouldn’t dare”.”
“Try me.” Kitty said in reply along with a smirk.
““˜Photoshop’”? How can something call that be a threat? It sounds like bullshit to me.” Grimmjow said.
“You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you” But, let’s just say that she can use pictures that are completely harmless and can make them into something completely different and that it can mean different things altogether” Szayel explained.
“Oh yeah, like what?” Noitora asked, being curious about the whole matter.
“Like this” Kitty said.
She reaches into her pocket and pulled out a laptop.
“What the fuck!?! How did something like that fit in your pocket!?!”
Kitty puts the laptop on the table and typed some things into it before she answered Grimmjow’s question.
“Where I come from Grimmjow, there are cartoons in my area. And, some of the things they do are beyond funny. And that includes taking things from out of nowhere! Since I live in a country where cartoons are created, then I can do the same things as them””technically” Kind of like “˜The Fairly Oddparents’”
“The what”?”
Kitty ignores him and turns the laptop around for only Grimmjow to see. He looks on the screen and Kitty could “˜swear’ that she saw his whole mouth open so wide that his chin hit the table. The rest of the Espada saw his face expression too””and wondered what was on that screen. Grimmjow slammed his fist--- almost onto the laptop to break it, but Kitty was fast enough to take it away before he could do it.
“WHAT THE FUCK!?! What sicko made up this shit!?! HUH!?! Tell me so that I can go over to that person’s house and beat the shit out of him or her until they can’t move anymore! Me and that bastard don’t have anything like that!” He yelled.
“I know” You’re lucky that I’m not into that type of thing” I find it very disturbing--- not that I have anything against gay people or anything””but this is different”
Grimmjow just growls. Ulquiorra, was confused about what was going on.
“What are you talking about”?”
“Don’t you dare show him that picture!”
Kitty types something into her laptop and then shows it to Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra looks at the screen--- and completely lost his calm face expression. His eyes opened to the fullest in surprise and he looked like he froze. Grimmjow and everyone else at the table saw his face expression--- and it disturbed and scared them at the same time. Usually Ulquiorra would be the calm one, but something on that screen made him feel really bad or nervous. Grimmjow somehow already had an idea of what it was. Ulquiorra regains his normal posture again and said, “Disgusting”! Get that away from me before I will actually agree with Grimmjow to kill whoever has started those lies”
Kitty takes the laptop away from him. On that screen was a picture of him and---- one of the Espada doing---- naughty things”
“Bu-But there is good things too!” Kitty chirped as she looked at Touzen.
“Touzen! Would you mind pushing that lever thing up to show that projection thing.”
Touzen nods and does what she says. As soon as he did, her laptop desktop screen somehow was connected to the projector thing. On Kitty’s desktop was a some detailed drawn picture of Grimmjow with a---- calm face expression!?! What the-:
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q103/kitty868theonly/Picture2.jpg
“What the hell is that!?! Is that supposed to be me!? You’re a fucking pervert like Noitora! You’re no different from him!” Grimmjow said in disgust.
“Hey, hey! Be happy that I’m a fan of yours! And that I am writing oneshots about you too!” She said with a smile.
“Writing what?”
““˜Oneshots’ are just short stories that are usually one “˜chapter’ long. Dummy” Szayel explained, but said the last word quietly.
“I heard that!” Grimmjow yelled.
“ANYWAY, I’m going to show you all some things online from one site and you’ll see that I’m not the only so called, “˜nutcase’ out there.” Kitty said as she clicked on the Internet Explorer icon.
“It better not be more of those sick pictures!” Grimmjow said through his teeth.
“No! Nothing like that”.! But, it could still be---- scary to some of you” Kitty said in a low voice.
They look at the first page that pops on as her homepage in the internet--- which there were four homepages she had””one in each tab. One was called, “˜Fanfiction’, the second one was called, “˜Fiction Press’, the third one was, “˜Hotmail’, and the 4th one was called, “˜Bleach Asylum’. She clicks on the 4th tab and it shows this site--- and the banner had Aizen on it (Grimmjow groaned in annoyance), there was Gin behind him (Gin points and laughs with a smile shouting, “That’s me!”), there was Ichigo (Grimmjow growled at that and some of the Espada “˜booed’), and the other was some girl shinigami with short black hair- Rukia (Grimmjow recognized her and said that she was weak and was just a pain). On the banner was the name of the place, and then under it, it read, “Home To Bleach Maniacs”.
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q103/kitty868theonly/BleachAsylum.jpg
“Looks like I was right to call you a “˜nutcase’” Grimmjow commented.
Kitty ignores him and she signs in--- wait, she didn’t need to because she was already signed in. So, she clicks around and clicked on something called, “Subscribed Threads”. A list came up and the Espada scan over the list. She was only subscribed to 6 threads it seemed--- but, only ONE of them caught all of the Espada attention. Grimmjow points at it.
“What’s that one”? The one titled, “GrimmxHime ““ Beauty and the Beast”” Noitora asked.
Szayel thought about what it said, and then he chuckled and shook his head.
“You’re not going to like this one Grimmjow” Szayel commented.
Grimmjow didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, so he ignored him.
“You want to know what it is”.?” Kitty said before she laughed evilly.
“Alright” But you asked for it”.”
She clicks on the thread. Grimmjow eyes shot open when he saw an image there of him and that woman that they brought to Las Noches not too long ago. The rest of the Espada laughed or chuckled, Noitora was really going overboard!
“Oh man! There are people that actually hope that kind of crap happens!?! And I thought I was the only pervert in the world! Hey, go down a bit so that I can see how many are part of this--- fan club!”
Grimmjow got real mad--- you can see a few “˜angry veins’ pop all over him.
“WHY YOU-!”
He was about to choke Kitty (like it’s her fault), but Touzen stepped in.
“I know you can’t get up, but don’t you dare hurt this guest” Or Aizen will have your head!” Touzen warned him.
Grimmjow forced himself to calm down a little---but he was still angry as hell.
“I’m going to---” He mumbles the rest under his breath.
“I wouldn’t complain if I was you” It’s WAY better than what I showed you a few seconds ago”
The horrible image he saw on her screen came to his mind before he shudders at the thought.
“Don’t remind me!” He yelled.
“Hey, how many member are there!?” Noitora asked, still interested on what he was seeing.
“Well--- um--- there are approximately 35-40 members” Maybe” I didn’t count them or anything”
Noitora looks at the rest of the stuff with his one eye.
“There’s fanart and fanfiction of this!?! Oh man! This is scary””but “˜cute’ too!” He commented as he turned his head to look at Grimmjow.
“This is NOT “˜cute’! It’s sick and--- well, not sick” But it is still crazy! What makes people think this type of thing will happen!?!?” Grimmjow said, now getting angry again.
“Hey! Don’t crush our “˜dreams’ okay! You should be happy that there are fan clubs of these type of things you know!” Kitty said in defense.
“I don’t give a shit! This is violating my rights! Didn’t ANYONE ask how I would feel about these types of things!? NO! Humans are too selfish to consider what I think!” Grimmjow said.
“Man” Why are you so difficult”? Well fine, I’ll show a thing concerning Ulquiorra”
“I don’t like where this is going” Ulquiorra said in his usual emotionless matter.
Kitty clicks around and goes to another thread that said, “~Unspoken Words~” and something else, but nobody saw the rest because she was clicking super fast. But, the picture that popped up on the screen even made Ulquiorra lose his normal posture. Noitora laughed.
“OH MAN! This is funny!” Noitora commented.
Grimmjow growled at what he was seeing before he looked at Ulquiorra.
“This has nothing to do with me” I did not approve such a thing” Ulquiorra said before Grimmjow could get further with his insults.
“Yeah well, I personally am not into this type of pairing, but I don’t insult the fans or anything like that” But, look how many members there are”
Kitty scrolls down until there was the number “˜94’ in bold that looked green.
“94 MEMBERS!?!? What the fuck!?!” Grimmjow yelled.
“That’s an impressive number” Ulquiorra said in a low voice.
Grimmjow just glared at him.
“Wow” So the emo bastard is everyone’s favorite huh? So, they don’t care if he tells on us--- even about the dumbest things in the world” I feel unloved” Noitora said.
Kitty sighs.
“I know” It seems that Ulquiorra beats you in everything, Grimmjow”
“What you say!?”
“Let me show you something else”
Kitty leaves the thread and goes to another that read, “Who is the sexiest man in Bleach?” She shows the winners, and all of the Espada got mad on who was number 1--- and then Grimmjow got mad at what he saw as number 2.
“That damn bastard shinigami is #1!?! Bullshit! And--- what the fuck is that for #2!?! Ulquiorra as #2! Bullshit!” Grimmjow yelled.
Ulquiorra couldn’t help but look away and it was very unnoticeable, but he actually smiled at the victory he won over Grimmjow. Noitora looks at the list and scoffed.
“Well Grimmjow, you should be happy that you are # 6- it is your number after all” Kitty commented.
He just glares at her in result, causing her to back down.
“I’m #27! That’s horrible! I should be in a higher position!” Noitora complained.
“I’m surprised you made it on there are all” Kitty said quietly, hoping Noitora didn’t hear her.
“What you say?”
“Nothing!” She chirped.
“Hmph! I’m #22” Well, it’s better than Noitora’s” Szayel said.
“Hey! I’m #8!” Gin said with a smile, happy with his place.
“I’m #32”? I’m lower than all of the Espada”? That’s wrong” Touzen said.
“Wow” Even Luppi is being voted in” And it looks like he is winning” Halibel said, speaking for the first time.
“And not just that, Grimmjow, you beat Aizen-sama by one number” Zommari said.
Grimmjow saw it and actually laughed.
“Well, won’t “˜Aizen-sama’ be pissed with those results!” Grimmjow said.
“Wow” I’m #25” And I didn’t even do anything yet” Stark said.
Kitty goes off of the thread and clicks on one that read, “Bleach Fan Clubs- Master List”.
Kitty makes the list big enough for everyone to see the whole list at once. A lot of the Espada were satisfied with what they were seeing.
“WOW! Even Yammy has his own fan club! This is interesting”
The others didn’t say anything, they were just proud that some humans actually appreciated them enough to make a fan club for them. However, when they glanced at the pairing fan clubs- they did not like some of them. Noitora was proud with two of them.
“Well well! There is a fan club for me and pet-sama! And the other is me and Halibel!” He looks at Halibel with his one good eye.
“It looks like it’s not just me that thinks we should be together.”
“Shut-up before I break you.” Halibel threaten.
“That’s disgusting.” Ulquiorra said, referring to the Noitora X Orihime fan club.
“Hey! Leave my fans alone! I wouldn’t be talking about anything Ulquiorra- or Grimmjow! Cause I see one fan club that doesn’t look very nice to me!” Noitora said as he grinned.
Ulquiorra and Grimmjow knew what he was talking about, and decided to remain silent about the whole matter.
“Anyway, who is the creator of both of the clubs?” Noitora asked.
“Well, for the Nnoitora X Halibel one, it’s by a female named “˜ilovemybishies’. And for the other fan club- Nnoitora X Orihime, it’s some male named “˜mitzibe’”
“Make sure you thank them both for me! Tell them I will forever be in debt to them. They have my thanks! And also, when it is time for us to destroy the world, I’ll let them live and whoever are members of both clubs will be included too!”
He looks at Kitty.
“You’re a member of one of the clubs- right?”
“Um- well- HEY! There’s one for Aizen too!”
They all looked and Kitty sighed in relief, glad that they fell for the “˜bait’.
“Eww”! One for Aizen and pet-sama” Now that’s gross!” Noitora said in disgust.
“Noitora, don’t say such things about Aizen-sama” If this interest him, then it would be best to not make such comments” Ulquiorra said quietly.
Grimmjow remained silent, he didn’t want to say what was going on in his mind about that club. Gin blinks his eyes at one of the clubs.
“Gin X Rukia”.? Hmm”. I don’t really have a thing with her”. I mean, she’s alright but I really have an interest for-”
“What is that I see?!” Noitora yelled in outrage.
“Is that a club for me and Nelilel!?! What idiot thought of that one!?!” Noitora yelled in anger.
“Um” I think this is enough talking about fan clubs” Kitty said as she exits out of the internet completely.
“Hey! I want an explanation for that one!” Noitora yelled.
“Please calm down Noitora” And, please respect everyone’s threads and all” It’s not very nice”
“I don’t give a rats ass about respect! I want a law-”
Noitora was quiet down when Halibel glared at him coldly, he instantly shut his trap, but he mumbled things under his breath still.
“Now, that I have made some of you happy and upset at the same time, I would like my birthday song now!” Kitty chirped.
Noitora sighed.
“You’re one annoying woman- you know that? How old are you anyway?”
“I’m __ years old.” She said with a smile.
Noitora smiles.
“Well, you’re fresh aren’t you? Not too young or old--- but just right” You beat pet-sama age, but still”
Halibel just glared t him again, he instantly quiets down.
“Anyway” I would like my song now”
“I already told you-”
“I’m ready with your blackmail Grimmjow” She said before he could even finish his sentence.
He instantly quiets down. He sighed in annoyance.
“This--- is--- going--- to--- ruin--- me--- for--- life” Grimmjow said under his breath.
“I’ll start” Yammy said with boredom.
He took a big breath and----
WAY LATER IN THE DAY”.
“Well, I’m leaving now! It was fun hanging with you guys! Since there is only one hour left before my birthday ends!” She chirped.
“You’re leaving?” Szayel asked.
“Aw! You’ll miss me?” Kitty asked with puppy-like eyes. :wtf
“No. It’s just that I was planning to eat you.” Szayel said without hesitation.
Kitty just opened her mouth in disbelief :eek:, but then shook her head and laughed instead :laugh.
“Anyway---”
She walks behind Grimmjow’s chair and hugged him.
“What the fuck! Didn’t I tell you not to touch me you freaking pervert!” :yell:hug
Kitty just laughed at him and looked at Ulquiorra, who was emotionless as ever.
“I don’t like you very much”
“I figured that already.” He responded back.
“But---”
She ran behind his chair and gave him a hug too.
“But, you need a hug too.”
Ulquiorra didn’t say anything or react to it. :confused::hug
“Hey! What about me!?” :yell Noitora said in outrage.
“Um” I think I’ll stay away from you” But, I have to admit that I never knew you were so funny!” :D She said with a smile.
Noitora laughed at the comment.
“You’re no fun” At least you are a lot nicer then Halibel here”
“I’m going to take care of you later” Halibel said in response.
“Well at least leave a number or something!” Noitora said, ignoring Halibel somewhat.
“Um” No”
Without further ado, Touzen opens a portal thing that would lead to her home. Kitty waves goodbye before she jumped through. There was silence in the room.
“Glad she’s gone! She was a pain in the ass! Making us talk about nothing but predictions and shit!” Grimmjow said.
“It seems to me that you were enjoying a few of the topics she was discussing about- especially the ones that concerned negative things towards me.” Ulquiorra said.
“I thought she was alright--- and I would have thought of other things about her too if she gave me a hug at least.” Noitora said with a smile.
There was silence again, and this time, Aaroniero spoke.
“Wait a minute” How are we going to get out of our seats since we are still glued to them”?”
There was silence, and then all of the Espada shouted at once, :yell “KIIIITTTYYY!!”:yell
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AUTHOR’S COMMENTS/NOTES
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MU-HA-HA-HA! I’m so evil! I had fun doing this random thing! And yes, it is my birthday today---- as of December 13, 2007”. *cough* anyway! I hope I did not offend anyone, I was not insulting any fan clubs of any kind and I kept all comments about fan clubs to myself (negative and a few positive ones). Since it was my birthday today, I just thought I write something random!:) This oneshot took me a while to write, but I managed to get it done before 8PM---- right before my test” And I hope everyone enjoyed it! Leave a review if you want--- I kind of don’t care anymore (although reviews are very nice and make me happy).:) And yes, the names I mentioned for the two fanclubs are the names I saw there in charge of the clubs @ BA [here]! And yes, the clubs I mentioned are also real @ BA [here]! So, feel free to check out those fanclubs if they interest you (And--- GRIMMJOW X ORIHIME NEEDS MORE LOVE :yell:cry) So, please come support that one and others--- if they interest you... Hope you enjoyed the onshot- and goodbye for now!