Relationship Advice V2

[McDoogle]

Ok, i would of posted this in the old thread but its locked because of me :p but i just wanted to say that me and my ex are friends again and probably closer than we were when we were going out :S

But i asked her back out today, and she simply smiled and walked to her lesson ( end of lunch break).

But i also wanted some advice on how to go about convincing her to give me a second chance and some things i shouldnt do or should etc including if i was to go out with her. thx ;)

[Rain]

Glad to hear that you guys are friends again, and are close too.

From what I remember from the last thread.... wasn't she really mean to you when you tried to talk to her.

I don't know how things have been going, but you shouldn't do any convincing to get her to give you another chance, if you have to "convince her" then I still say she isn't good enough for you.

Either way, if you think you'll be happy with her then I hope things work out well for you:hug.

[McDoogle]

Well i did figure out why she was anger at me and her reason was completely justified. But over the time we didnt talk i still felt the same for her and its never changed.

[aznxenocide]

Wait so...you guys are closer than before you were going out, and yet, she just smiled when you asked her out again? That doesn't sound very close to me...Has she gotten back to you about that or not? In my experience, girls are either "Sure!" or "uhh let me think about it..." or "What the hell? Hahahah are you serious? Oh my god you're not joking. Ohmygosh I'm so sorry...."

Let us know what she says. Don't be in such a rush to ask her out again though...think about what went wrong last time, and if it's at all possible to avoid it.

We had a v.1? Really? XD

[Rain]

xeno- the first version only had like 30 posts (or some number I don't remember), not the usual 1000

[McDoogle]

What i mean by closer is that she is talking to me a hell of alot more and for the first time in about 2 years she wanted to generally talk to me on msn, we weren't very close after she found out i liked her but she seems to of grown to it.

Shes the shy type so when it comes to people asking her out she can get a bit nervous.

[aznxenocide]

Did you just ask her out today? Has she said anything? Asked any of her friends to talk to you for her? If she's shy...eh, maybe you'll have to wait till you talk to her next time on MSN? maybe?

@rain: ah. haha thanks. XD

[negativzero]

sounds a little too quick if you ask me! you've just become friends again. things like relationships have to be taken slowly. take your time to know her as a friend more before taking the plunge again.

also i don't think its about giving yourself a second chance, makes you sound like a dog. but should be more of an approach where you are able to show that you are much more of a person as compared to before.

anyways, give it a few months to a year or so. during this time you shold know if she's really worth it or not.

[spacecat]

I agree with Nez, take your time and don't rush it. Don't be in her face about it or act desperate, trust me girls hate that ;)

[McDoogle]

Because apparently a game of halo is more important to her than me, ive asked another girl i like out called Laura and she said yes.

[Rain]

So you're not dating your ex, but a different girl you like.

Congrats and good luck with your relationship:D.

[aznxenocide]

.....

There's no rush to be in a relationship. If you're just doing this to get back at the ex without really trying...then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Still, your ex sounds hella bomb...:p Good luck with Laura though, if you genuinely like her and aren't feeling vengeful towards your ex and aren't just trying to get in a relationship just to get in a relationship.

[Orlando]

This is confusing?? The love of your life seems to want to take it slow but recently just accepted you back into her life and things were going good, now because she hasn't pounced at a full on reunion you are going out with the next best thing? Buddy you need to slow it down, it sounds like you are dating for the sake of dating. If you need advice on girls feel free to add me on msn. If you do just want to date for the sake of it then come to LA bud, I'll get you laid.

[McDoogle]

I'm not wanting to go out with her for the sate of dating someone. I love her with all my heart and soul and although I've accepted she may not feel the same, i simply cant let go, infact it feels as if its growing stronger each time i see her. I'd go to the ends of the earth to have her back and do anything just to see her smile, because when she smiles, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I asked laura out because i thought it may help me let go but it doesn't. Laura may be close to my dream girl but Kelly is my dream girl and always will be.

After watching the bleach movie, i realize the theme song fits so well...

[Rain]

So you're dating this other girl to try to get past the girl you really like:headscratch

All I can say is that this situation never seems to end well

[McDoogle]

well im beginning to like laura more now but i just guess its mood changes.

[aznxenocide]

No, you're only liking Laura more because you feel obligated to. >.<

Well...even though I think you're WAY too young to be feeling this way about anyone not blood-related....yeah dude, if you really REALLY like her (your dream girl), then stick with it. You're sending her completely mixed messages. On the one hand, you're talking to her more, you want to get closer to her. And yet, you just asked out another girl. What do you think that tells your dream girl? It says you're just trying to get some action, that you don't actually care who you're with. Which I know is NOT the case with you, right, McD?

[negativzero]

thats the thing i hate about relationships sometimes, is that you don't know what the other sex is thinking sometimes, it drives me crazy sometimes X__X

McD, you're young and all, so right now, I'd suggest you don't commit too much into a relationship, especially as what xena said, you might be sending the wrong message to Kelly by liking Laura. Take it slow for a while and see how things develop, who knows what will happen if you commit youself too much now. Trust me, bad things can and have happen.

[speedphantom]

I'm not wanting to go out with her for the sate of dating someone. I love her with all my heart and soul and although I've accepted she may not feel the same, i simply cant let go, infact it feels as if its growing stronger each time i see her. I'd go to the ends of the earth to have her back and do anything just to see her smile, because when she smiles, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I asked laura out because i thought it may help me let go but it doesn't. Laura may be close to my dream girl but Kelly is my dream girl and always will be.

After watching the bleach movie, i realize the theme song fits so well...Hmm, well just figure out whether or not you like Laura or not. I think if you were just trying to move on by going out with Laura thats not good ><.

I know how you feel when you talk about your ex. It sounds like there might be a possibility for a second chance but as people have mentioned before, you must not rush or things might go bad. Just wait until you feel the time is right so I'd be thinking at least several months. Good luck though!

[McDoogle]

Well i took your advice into consideration and im no longer dating laura.

I guess if we are supposed to get back together, it will be time that tells and not me.

But does anyone know how to get a girl to forgive u on something, not cheating.

[Rain]

How to get a girl to forgive you:headscratch

Well what did you do, when was it, have you already apologized for it, all those things important.

*sometimes I wonder if some of the girls on this forum read our posts here and think, "wow, those guys are way off" :rotflmao*

[McDoogle]

Its actually because of a number of reasons but i think the biggest one is that i kinda of invaded her privacy by asking her mam some personal details out of concern for her well being. It was at about march/ February this year it happened and i have already apoligised for it on numerous occasions.

And yea, where is all the comments from the girls?

[Jaws]

McD ... reread my post on V1 of this thread, same advice I'd give you :

Alrighty ... from a girl's perspective then :

1. You should remember one thing about girls : We are complicated, most of the time we don't even understand ourselves, so don't be surprised you find it difficult trying to understand us. We like it when guys care, and do little things out of the ordinary for us, but most of us do not like it when you are needy or possessive. Be possessive in the right time and place, don't be possessive about every little thing ... ie. Be possessive when an annoying guy is hitting on your girl, but constantly checking on us when we are merely out shopping with our girlfriends only show you are insecure, and we do not like man who are insecure!

2. The most important part of a relationship is trust. How do you gain that? By your actions. You unfortunately is in a bit of a mess, coz' you played a little prank on her. Girls are sensitive creatures, we tend to over think stuff.
Your 'harmless' little prank might have caused her to think that she is worthless to you, and that you do not care about her at all ... playing such a cruel joke on a girl is damaging to her selfesteem, and it will be even worst if she already had a crush on you to begin with! If this had happened to me, I will forever have trust issues with every guy who tells me they like me. If you really want to pursue a relationship with her, start over! Forget about everything you did/or didn't do in the past, and start things over right. Don't rely on what your friends/or her friends say, can pretty much guarantee they are 99% of the time unreliable ... not saying you should ignore everything friends say, just saying you should confirm everything you hear directly with the girl yourself. I say best way of communication is through action, because words are merely that. You can talk and promise all you want, but without action, it means nothing.

3. How do you start over? Be there for her when she really needs you, show her you are dependable. Make it clear to her you are serious about starting over. Do little things for her, like leave flowers or notes at her doorsteps or something .... but don't stalk. If she doesn't want to talk to you now, don't force her to. Just leave her little notes of how you feel ... don't do it via msn or text or e-mail ... it is way too convenient, and does not show much effort at all. Might sound like I'm advicing you to do foolish things, but to tell you the truth, it is better to make a fool of yourself now, than to regret later on things you didn't do and could have done. If you truely did everything you can now to salvage your relationship with her, and it doesn't work out ... then you should move on ....

4. If you really love someone : You cannot and will never be able to hate that person .... you simply want the best for him/her. Sometimes, the best might not be you. You can always have a special place in your heart for that person, and remember this old saying : If you really love something, let it free. If deep down you know you are not right for each other, then don't go crazy, and force things to happen. It is far better to have the person remain by your side as a friend than to lose him/her completely. Who knows? Maybe somewhere down the road, things might come together again ... when both of you are more mature, and can better handle things.

McD ... by the sound of things, you are putting 100% of your heart into every relationship that you are in, but you do not know how to deal with it. The only thing I can tell you is that it is better to have the memories with her, than to not have anything at all ... so, if things still don't work out after you've tried, please do keep in mind it is not the end of the world, and you might not have met the right person for you yet.

Getting someone to forgive you pretty much equals to starting over (read point #3 above). You can't rush it, and if I remember correctly from your other posts, your ex does not sound like she's ready for a real relationship. If you really think she is the one and only for you ... then does it matter if you have her or not? I've said it before, when you love someone, it doesn't mean owning them ... this is something you will only come to realize when you get older, so I don't expect you to understand this now. I still think you're too young to be deciding on who your true love is at this age ... so ... take it naturally as it comes?

Rain : heh ... don't think I'm the only girl reading this thread, but sure am the only one trying to help out McD ... come on girls ... I'm sure some of you bound to disagree with what I said here, so speak out :p

[aznxenocide]

@rain: girls? There aren't any girls on the internetz. o.O

:p

Mcd: Well...damn buddy. XD I'd say, if you wanted to start over, you were doing pretty well before. Just talking to her...don't put any pressure on her, just talk about stuff with her, anything besides relationship stuff. Make her see you as a friend first, and then it'll go from there. Hang out with her, watch movies together, become friends with her friends, etc etc. And while it won't happen overnight, it'll certainly happen faster than wishing upon a star.

[hemagoku]

most of the time i want to make friends with girls ,cuz i never had one ,but i am a shy guy :mad: :( ,so can i take some advices ,like what to say or stuff like that

[Sora Chan]

Every girl is different, so they respond to different things ya know. My best advice is just be yourself. Maybe it's just me, if a girl thinks your hitting on them, and they don't know you, they usually walk away. But I think if they realize you just wanna be friends, you should be fine. Seriously Hema, just be yourself!

[Rain]

I agree with sora.

Pickup lines and stuff don't work (and if they do, thats not the type of girl you'll have a long lasting relationship with)

its best to just act like you do in normal situations and if the girl likes that, she'll want to get to know you more. Do you best to not be worried about what they think, and just act as you would around your friends.

that will help you relax and seem more comfortable/approachable, which is always good

[McDoogle]

Well i would actually say not to treat them as a friend, aparently, that puts them off :P treat them better but not to make it obviiuos that u like them, little less than what u would a gf, that way shell start liking you, and its actually a little bit good to bring up relationships :D by bringing up relationships that shes been in, shell then begin to relate the emotion attactment from what she got from her last bf's to you etc etc etc

But this thread is so incredibly old, shes got another bf now who actually seems like a complete dick, but he makes her happy and thats all im really after, im buring all feelings i have for her.

[Rain]

McDoogle- i just mean act like you would around your friends (that comfort level, etc) because thats when you show what you're really like, and if the girl likes that they won't be nearly as many problems later:D

i agree that you can't always just treat them as a friend, otherwise you'll get stuck in the friend zone:cry :lmao

[Ulquiorra]

the friend zone sucks ass


seriously

[hemagoku]

,i mean what should be like a talking starter ,cuz there were no girls in my class since like 7 years ,so i am not good with girls ,and well u know what i mean ?

[Ulquiorra]

you could try "hi", for starters

[hemagoku]

then what ?

[Rain]

are these girls in class, at a bar, in a store

that makes a big difference in how "forward" you can be

if its just in class i'd say start with small talk, like how class is going something, just so they get to know you:D

[hemagoku]

well at school ,in the break or if i skip class or stuff

[Ulquiorra]

at the club you dont even need to say anything. Just go up to the girl and (if she doesnt have a guy with her already) start dancing up on her


today's world makes it so easy for people to hook up :lmao
it's not like in the old days when you walked up and were all "may i have this dance?" Nowadays you're just "HEY CAN I GRIND ON YOU FOR ABOUT 4 HOURS STRAIGHT AND THEN ILL SEE YOU IN GOOD LIGHTING AFTER WE LEAVE?"

[hemagoku]

i never danced b4

[couch_kamote]

If the girl you want to talk to is from the same class as you are why not try and say "Hi" to her. After that you can follow up by talking about class and stuff that both you and her can relate to.

[hemagoku]

If the girl you want to talk to is from the same class as you are why not try and say "Hi" to her. After that you can follow up by talking about class and stuff that both you and her can relate to.
cuz as i said all schools i went to except one ,has boys together in class ,and girls together in another class

[couch_kamote]

Just walk up to her and say "Hi" at lunch or in any place you feel comfortable. Then start talking with her. You have to break the ice and make her feel comfortable. That way more opportunities to talk and get to know each other may come.

[hemagoku]

i think my biggest problem is fear of being rejected or something like that

[Ulquiorra]

failing is how you learn and grow

[hemagoku]

ya but i don't like it xD

[Unicorn]

Could you guys please refrain from posting 1-liners? Either add a little more detail into your posts, or wait until you got something more to write before posting.

Thanks,
Unicorn

[hemagoku]

ok, anyway i got an opportunity today,but i just walked by *i hate me :x*

[McDoogle]

well for some strange reason, she still wants to be friends, despite shes always calling me a complete dick an prick all the time, and shes starting to completly ignore me again. As far as im awear, we aint friends, she thinks we are though, and she think she can get away with treating me like a piece of shit when shes wrong.

[Shdo]

its really simple, if some relationship make you feel bad or like shit then maybe you should just say goodby to that relationship?there is no point in staying and getting insults if you hate it, and that include friendships btw.

[McDoogle]

lol but they make u feel like shit in a good way though, make u want to perfect your self, and u cant help but want that feeling to grow.

[couch_kamote]

Then improve yourself and make yourself grow. But not because of her or the way she treats you. Do it for yourself.

[Shdo]

so you want to grow, that dosnt mean you do that or enjoy that, if in the end you end up filling miserable from that treatment then why should you suffer it? does a person that makes you feel bad is worthy of your time? and what about asking her to at least treat you like a friend and not a punchbag? if she dont want a relationship but wants to be friends then shouldnt she be at least not mean?

[couch_kamote]

Yeah, she could at least be civil with you and not treat you like a scumbag. Why waste your time on a person who treats you bad when there are other people there who could be your true friends and appreciate you.

[Beee]

well for some strange reason, she still wants to be friends, despite shes always calling me a complete dick an prick all the time, and shes starting to completly ignore me again. As far as im awear, we aint friends, she thinks we are though, and she think she can get away with treating me like a piece of shit when shes wrong.

hmmm... I guess it might be tough love? o_O

Did you try to make it clear to her that you aren't gonna let her treat you that way, though? (At least, not all the time) Sometimes people are extremely sloooooow when it comes to that and don't realize they're doing something wrong o_o. And if nothing gets solved... well eff it, she's lost ya. You deserve better than that (..not that I know you much, though..xD)

ya but i don't like it xD

heh...you'll get rejected sooner or later...(unless you're like a sexeh beast with smarts and uberness.. and even then some people'll reject you cause you're too good for em xD). Sooner is better though because you can get more experience and stuff =)

[couch_kamote]

heh...you'll get rejected sooner or later...(unless you're like a sexeh beast with smarts and uberness.. and even then some people'll reject you cause you're too good for em xD). Sooner is better though because you can get more experience and stuff =)

True. True. Most people (99.9%) get rejected at least once. It would be better to get rejected at the beginning. That way, you'll learn and have a chance to analyze what you did wrong. So next time you can do better.

[speedphantom]

You don't learn anything until you get rejected. Then you come down to earth and know how things work. Painful experience but its life changing:uhuh

[McDoogle]

If by learn u mean get used to getting hurt so it never happends again so really youll never love anyone as much again then yea, i have.

[speedphantom]

Of course not get used to it. Just learning to deal with it better and knowing how things actually work.:uhuh

No one should have to get used to being hurt.

[Rain]

McDoogle- you learn how to deal with women better, you learn what type of women you want more, you learn how to communicate better

getting rejected helps you learn that kind of stuff

and rejection is never fun, but its not the end of the world:D

speed- yup, i agree

[melboyd~]

and rejection is never fun, but its not the end of the world
agreed. that is what i always tell those who seek my 'counsel' lol.
but sometimes rejection troubled one so much until he/she is clouded by the trauma and ended up doing something near to :stupid. always, imo, time plays the 'healing' agent. then hopefully, u can find a new love.

and agreed to all speed's points.

[rvngu]

agreed. that is what i always tell those who seek my 'counsel' lol.
but sometimes rejection troubled one so much until he/she is clouded by the trauma and ended up doing something near to :stupid. always, imo, time plays the 'healing' agent. then hopefully, u can find a new love.

and agreed to all speed's points.

people seek you advice on relationship? you: a computer?!!....are you Bender? :rotflmao hehe just kidding, i'll make sure to ask you later ;)

[hidden rage]

I'll do a summarized version of my problem.. I'm not in a relationship by any means but I'm kind of stuck in a love triangle at the moment with my best friend and his ex fiance.

I'm doing a quick version because the long version is well... It's paragraphs and paragraphs of drivel so here we go..

My best friend right now is in Afghanistan. The fiance is here... and I'm here too. They both have been arguing until one very nasty fight.. He found a girl out there that knew him better then she did in only a short period of time. Then it was over between the 2. I got it confirmed for myself from him that it was over because he called me from out there.

So.. I told her it was over because she still had a some kind of hope that it can still work.. I broke it to her.. She was fine because she wanted closure. She wants to move on and date other guys. Cool. We also remained friends btw.

Now She gets a call from him.. He wants to get back together with her. Despite going with another woman, he wants to get back together because he still has feelings. Okay fine, so she tried to move on and she is now back at phase 1.

He has access to her facebook.. He read a message where someone tried to hit on him and rage ensued. There was a phone call cursing her out, calling her undatable, ugly, and all the bad shit you can think of. He wants all of this stuff back and wants her out of life.

She wants to move on and see other guys.. She confessed that one guy she would like to go out with is her number 1 guy friend... Me. She would like to go out with me..

So.. She gets a call.. It's him. He wants to get back together because he still has feelings for her. She still has feeling for him too. He basically acted like the last phone call never happened to begin with..

I talked with her today.. She likes me. She says that I'm cute, I give good advice, and I'm there when she needs someone during the good times and the bad times. I make her feel good about herself and I make her laugh.. She has feelings for me and wants to be more then friends.. I have confessed to her that I have developed feelings for her but I don't know what I want to do yet. This is my best friends ex fiance for crying out loud.

So BA.. I know you've only dealt with single relationship advice (I'm assuming this btw) and this is a love triangle with 3 people who don't know what they want but have feelings for a certain someone and it spreads around.. I don't want to be hurt in the end of all of this and I don't want to lose neither as a friend but my feelings... Ugh.

What should I do!?!

[LUV]

All I can say is! OMG! I told you so....if you go back to Luv's House of Love, you can so read the part where I told you to keep away or this would happen... now for my oh so cruel ADVICE. Warning, I am a bitch, and I am not afraid to speak my mind.

Okay, for starters, I blame you for all of this. I told you myself to distance yourself from her in the beginning. I gave you my point of view as a woman, and ummm you obviously ignored it:facepalm and now look at the consequences.....

Secondly, I cannot believe you fell for her, I so knew it would happen, damn it...:-_-
From what you told me before, this guy and you are real close, I don't see how you can take some girl over him. He is your best friend, no girl should come between that relationship.

She is hurting right now, she is going through so much, she needs an outlet, and guess what, you are the lucky winner. The way I see it, she is now on the rebound. She will hurt him the best way possible, and thats with you. She might like you, but it won't be love b/c no matter what, she will only be with you to fuck him over. Thats the truth, if it hurts, I am not really sorry b/c in the end, you kinda deserve it.

Take my advice again, trust me, I am not wrong, I wasn't wrong the first time, and I am not wrong this time. We girls are bitches, we are, there is no denying it. This girl is out for revenge, and she will fuck you over to get to him. :noworry

Don't lose such a great friendship over some girl whom you will be for like 3 months. She will break your heart, and she will break that friendship you have with her x. Like I told you before, if you need to talk, MSN me or PM me. Sorry for being so harsh, but it just pisses me off that you didn't listen to me the first time.

[IngenuityGap]

^^^^

This is exactly the advice you should listen to. If she's really that interested in you, let her rebound to someone else and then see what's what after that is out of her system. Best advice though is don't go for it at all.

[Rain]

It really sounds to me like she just wants you because she is mad at him, sorry, but thats the feeling i get right now:oops

Give her some time, and if she seems over him and she isn't using you, then I'd say go for it


If it turns out you actually like her (and not that you are just lonely or something, but you want a relatiosnhip with this girl) and she feels the same and isn't just using you then you would have to consider whether it is worth risking your friendship with the guy

but before that point, i'd say don't do it, it won't turn out how you hope it will

[tifa]

I don't know you very good, but I'll try to give my opinion about it. =)

After your best friend told her he dated another girl in Afghanistan, you two were just friends and she didn't confess anything about her feelings to you. But you supported her and I think that was the moment that her feelings for you started to grow more. Then, after the second fight with her and your best friend. She confessed that she'd like to date you. But then, her ex called her and everything was ok again. Even if he had another girl in Afganistan and cursed her out for any bad thing you can imagine, she still has feelings for him. What does that tell about her feelings for him?

I think that girl is broken and a bit uncertain about her position in the relationship between her and your best friend. He broke her heart by dating another woman, then he called her and told her he wants her back. Afterwards he scolded to her and then told her again that he still has feelings for her, that he still cares for her. That girl must be thinking.. does he still love me or not? What am I supposed to do? Hate him or love him? And it's hard for her to get the anwer to that questions cause you or her best friend can't help her with that. It's between her and your best friend. But I think that because of what your best friend did to her, she have a little faith in his love for her eventhough he says that he still have feelings for her.

The girl wants to move on, of course she wants too. That's the best way to heal her heart and get out of the uncertainity of her loveproblems. She'll have another guy to focus on and a guy who truly loves her and make her happy again. Even if your best friend is saying bad things to her and dating with other womans, if she gets a new boy that kind of things will matter less than before, the pain will be lessened. Although I think that she'll still have feelings for your best friend. Because everything isn't really solved yet. It seems that she likes you, but does she likes you more than your best friend? Do you know about that?

And you seem to like that girl too. So what's your reason for not trying a relationship with her? Are you afraid of your friend's reaction?

And you only told us what the girl think of you and what happened between that girl and your best friend. But what does your best friend think of that girl?

That's some questions to make you think about the whole situation and I hope everything will turn out well for you. Loveproblems sucks I know :p

But what I'd do in such situation.. well I think all of this is too troublesome and I don't like that kind of things cause it'll make me more uncertain about my decision. If my friendship with my best friend would be affected because of someone else (in my case a boy), then I'd reject the boy. Eventhough I really like him a lot. I want to share my boyfriend with my friends, but not in such a manner that my boyfriend had a thing with a friend of mine before. I want to talk about my boyfriend with my friends without seeing one of my friend looking sad because they had a bad past together. And I want to hang around with my boyfriend + friends without them having a conflict together. But that's what I want. Especially if the guy still have feelings for my best friend, then I'd totally reject him. If I see them together I'd be thinking: Do you like her more than me? What if anything happen between those two? I won't take the risk to ruin my friendship by having him as my boyfriend if he still has feelings for my best friend or his ex or whatever.

But I hope everything will be okay with you, that girl and your best firend. Good luck =) :hug

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL I made a long post and this is not even the Ichiruki FC :crazy

[Hiraeth]

Hi guys, I've got something I'd be interested in hearing people's opinions on.

There's this guy, I've been on two dates with him, however in that time I've discovered that I'm not attracted to him, and we have nothing in common. He, on the other hand, really likes me, which I know because he's told a friend of mine, and well sometimes you can just tell.

My question is, since we've only been out twice, do I have to tell him that I don't want to go out with him again? It's only two dates, and I'm not sure the first one even counted since he referred to it as 'catching up' rather than going on a date.

I should also mention he messaged me the other day, and because I didn't reply (due to a lack of credit) he called me today to ask when I finished exams, I think to see if I wanted to do something but he didn't actually come out and ask. I told him that I'm really busy after exams and then I'm leaving town for three weeks, so pretty much even if he thought we could get together it wouldn't be til after then anyway.

So yes, do I need to tell him that I don't want to go out with him again, or can I just leave it? I don't really want to 'break up' with him if he doesn't consider us to be together, and I personally don't really think two dates puts us in any kind of relationship. Also if I do tell him that I don't want to see him again, should I tell him the truth, that I don't find him attractive or feel any kind of connection, or lie to spare his feelings. Thing is he's a sweet guy, and I'll probably see him around again, so I don't know if I should just follow my gut instinct and just leave it alone, so I figured what the hell I'd see what you guys thought.

[Rain]

he probably considers that first "date" a date:p

but still if its just been two dates you don't have to tell him, but if he likes you that much, i think it would be nicer to tell him something

even if the next time he asks you out just turn him down, I would say at least tell him something

Its a far cry from what you're in, but being completely cut-out or ignored until the guy gets the picture is a very rough thing to take

So my advice would be to at least tell him, but thats just me

[tifa]

Hi Hiraeth :wtf

It's so cute that the guy is trying his best to go on a date with you! But it seems like you don't feel the same for him, except that he's a sweet guy to you. He told your friend that he really likes you and he's probably trying to go on another date with you when the exams are over. I think that he still doesn't know what you really think of him, that you are not attracted to him. He might still have the idea that he has the chance to win your heart or he might even think that you feel the same about him. I think that's the reason why he keeps trying to date you.

You should tell him the truth. That way he knows what he can expect from you, you won't give him any hope towards a love relationship together and he can look for another girl to focus on. It's hard, but it's the best for him.
If you avoid and ignores him, he'll eventually get the message -'I don't like you, leave me alone'- but then in a harsh way and that's no good for both of you because you'll probably see him around again.
You also shouldn't lie to him and tell him that you like him, because that will give him false hope and will hurt him a lot if he ever finds out, which he will and then a lot of drama will start. And lying will cause you a lot of trouble too, you have to date with him, kiss him, ec. to make sure that the 'lie' stays safe. I think he also prefer the truth than the lie, eventhough you want to spare his feelings by lying to him.

In this case, it's a bit hard to spare his feelings. But my advice is, tell him the truth in a subtle way. Be nice to him, don't be afraid to show him your feelings and what you really think about him(the good things only of course cause it's hard for him already! :p). Oh and tell him that you want to stay friends.. Cause you'll still see him around and eventhough you two weren't meant to be as lovers, you can still have fun together as friends right? Friends are never enough, and it's always fun to have boys as your friends! And if you tell him that you still want to be friends with him and still be nice to him afterwards, the rejection is less 'hard'.. That way, you show him that you didn't reject him because of 'him' (his personality and looks) but because you two just weren't meant to be as lovers. :lala

If you think it's difficult to say it to him face to face, then you can mail it to him or message him about it.. But of course face to face is the best way..

Hi Space, I'm doing fine thanks! :-) But umm... I have to tell you something.. I heard that you like me/I get the impression that you really likes me.. and well.. I'm afraid that I don't feel the same about you.. I'm sorry... I really had fun with you, you were very sweet to me.. but I didn't really feel the sparks between us.. I'm truly sorry, it hurt me too to say thin because I think that you're a sweet, sweet guy. And I really didn't want to hurt your feelings.. but I thought that you should know the truth because you deserves that.. I'm sorry Space.. Though, I hope that everything will still be alright between the two of us.. that we don't have any grudge etc against the other.. =) I hope you'll understand and that we can still get along with eachother..

And he might keep some distance afterwards, but that's because he's hurt and need some space and time to heal.. And at least you've told him that you still want him as a friend.. But that's another case, you're free to ask around when that happens :p

Good luck :hug

[Hiraeth]

Thanks for the advice guys.

Basically I think what I was trying to say was, I don't want to make an idiot of myself by breaking up with him if I'm not dating him, but I guess I do have to let him know that it's not going anywhere. I feel kinda guilty though.

Also Tifa, just to clarify so you don't think I'm completely horrible, when I asked if I should lie to him, what I actually meant was, should I say 'yeah I just don't like you in that way, sorry' or should I say something like 'look I'm just not ready for a relationship', which is kind of true. And yeah I've done the whole lying to a guy that I'm in a relationship with and it got really horrible towards the end, he really liked me but I spent most of the relationship asking my friends 'what should I do, should I break up with him?'.

I was also under the impression that suggesting that we just be friends was like the most heinous crime one can commit during the breakup speech, but I could be wrong. I think I'll put it into my own words when I talk to him, but I'll probably be much less eloquent than you were.

[Rain]

you could always say you dont want your relationship to go any further, you think of him as a friend, and you don't want to hurt that or somehting xD

that way whether he thinsk you're dating or not, he knows you don't want to be dating

you dont have to worry about hurting his feelings or anything, at least you're being honest with him

personal I'd rather be told the truth than some slight lie, because even with that lie, he might not get the full pciture, and still there is a chance with you

[tifa]

Hey Hir!

I didn't think you're horrible! But I can understand why you feel guilty though, you're too sweet :hug And that message was just an example. Yeah you have to put in your own words, but I used that message to make my explanation more clear xD

I hope that everything will be alright between you two and good luck with the exams :hug

[Hiraeth]

You guys are right, thanks again for the advice, I'll call him as soon as the exams are over and sort this out. It'd just be mean to call him when he's still studying for exams.

I'd also like to state, for the record, that I was kinda interested, but he managed to quash whatever interest I had in two ways. Firstly he called me four times in two hours, while I was practising for an audition, I mean yay for him being keen but 4 calls? Really? Secondly he invited me to go bowling with him, then (without asking me), invited one of my friends. That wasn't so weird, but then she told him she couldn't go and I didn't find out til I called her to see if she was going, only to find out she wasn't. I also had to cancel, however a day afterwards, I found out he'd invited this other girl I don't know that well, to, well, accompany me, and she'd still gone even though I hadn't. It was strange.

And thanks for the good luck Tif!

[Flying Banana]

okay so i barely started going out with this one guy...and he seems a little too obsessed with me o__o he was yelling at my best friends to leave them alone and all that .___.' when i came back he was pretending as though nothing happened and all that >.> he watches me all the time... if i go somewhere with my friends he watches all the time...if i take pictures with other people he watches all the time...on the 2nd day he was going way too fast =____= he told me he loved twice and tried kissing me on the lips when school ended (i dodged it lmao) but it didnt look like it was on purpose at least :p;

[Rain]

I'd also like to state, for the record, that I was kinda interested, but he managed to quash whatever interest I had in two ways. Firstly he called me four times in two hours, while I was practising for an audition, I mean yay for him being keen but 4 calls? Really? Secondly he invited me to go bowling with him, then (without asking me), invited one of my friends. That wasn't so weird, but then she told him she couldn't go and I didn't find out til I called her to see if she was going, only to find out she wasn't. I also had to cancel, however a day afterwards, I found out he'd invited this other girl I don't know that well, to, well, accompany me, and she'd still gone even though I hadn't. It was strange.

lol, you don't need to explain

but yeah, 4 calls in 2 hrs is overkill

okay so i barely started going out with this one guy...and he seems a little too obsessed with me o__o he was yelling at my best friends to leave them alone and all that .___.' when i came back he was pretending as though nothing happened and all that >.> he watches me all the time... if i go somewhere with my friends he watches all the time...if i take pictures with other people he watches all the time...on the 2nd day he was going way too fast =____= he told me he loved twice and tried kissing me on the lips when school ended (i dodged it lmao) but it didnt look like it was on purpose at least :p;

you should tell him that he shouldn't yell at your friends or act so suspicious

he probably just thinks he is being protective, but if you don't like it you need to tell him

thats what i think anyway

[Fyrefox]

okay so i barely started going out with this one guy...and he seems a little too obsessed with me o__o he was yelling at my best friends to leave them alone and all that .___.' when i came back he was pretending as though nothing happened and all that >.> he watches me all the time... if i go somewhere with my friends he watches all the time...if i take pictures with other people he watches all the time...on the 2nd day he was going way too fast =____= he told me he loved twice and tried kissing me on the lips when school ended (i dodged it lmao) but it didnt look like it was on purpose at least :p;

He's either "a bit over-protective" or "obsessive-protective".

If it's the first, I don't know what to tell you. It's a difficult problem, but chances are he's empathetic and caring: he just takes it a little far. If you engage him and talk to him, it'll stop.

But, if it's the second, you might be in trouble. Try stepping on his toes a little. (Not literally.) Become more self-reliant. Show him that you don't need his protection as much. Don't take it too far though. If he thinks he isn't needed, problems will arise. Be careful, and consider some method of self- protection if the situation calls for it.

[gab00n]

okay so i barely started going out with this one guy...and he seems a little too obsessed with me o__o he was yelling at my best friends to leave them alone and all that .___.' when i came back he was pretending as though nothing happened and all that >.> he watches me all the time... if i go somewhere with my friends he watches all the time...if i take pictures with other people he watches all the time...on the 2nd day he was going way too fast =____= he told me he loved twice and tried kissing me on the lips when school ended (i dodged it lmao) but it didnt look like it was on purpose at least :p;

Sounds like he's mentally unstable, I would end it before he gets even more obsessed.

[Fortunate]

How do I get Rain to love me without force?! :wtf

[Alphonse]

Humz... my curiosity has driven me here. lolz :fu I'd just like to ask one thing, just a random question. What shows how much you love a person? What would be good?

[Flying Banana]

gab00n - lmao xDDD

fyrefox - thanks for the advice
i'll see what happens later on :]

[beautiful_death]

I need some feedback for this current situation I'm in:

I texted my friend Tuesday and he told me he was at an Angels game. He then texted me this superlong message that basically said "Since we've been friends for so long, maybe you and I should try a relationship." I texted him back "Are you drunk?" and he responds with "A little, but why not give it a try? I trust you and I hope you can trust me."

He then loses his phone and does not contact me for a few days. He can't get a hold of me since he lost his phone, although I've been sending messages to him through Myspace. And my skepticism got the best of me, so I basically threatened to end the friendship because I felt he was leading me on.

He responded recently and he said that he's been so busy with work and photo shoots. He also said he needs to "fix his life", and he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. I really don't know if I should believe him, but he isn't the type to be an asshole.

Should I believe him? Should I even have hope that I could possibly be more than friends with him?

[Rain]

I don't think he was toying with you or anything

but as it stands right now, its best to just try to stay friends, at least until he gets his life together. Starting a relationship with him right now probably won't end well.

But I do think that he was serious about being in a relationship with you (although honestly i don't think he seems like he was that into the idea)

But I'd say first things first is to try to make sure the friendship is ok (it hasn't gone beyond the point of fixing it has it) and then after that and after he gets his act together you can try to have a relationship with him


well, thats my opinion anyway:)

[beautiful_death]

Rain: Well, our friendship is fine, although I don't hang out with him often. The odd thing is, even though we don't see each other often, he considers me his best friend. :eek:

Yeah, you're right. I think the timing for being more than friends with him is bad atm. I think his girlfriend left him or something like that. I most definitely don't want to be treated like a rebound, because that warrants a severing of the friendship.

[gab00n]

gab00n - lmao xDDD

fyrefox - thanks for the advice
i'll see what happens later on :]

You laugh now but I've had to deal with my moms stalker so I've done a lot of research and his behavior is a little worrying. Maybe he is just really immature and insecure but I don't think so. You're quite a cutey, so I might have ulterior motives for getting you single. :D

[Fortunate]

Rain is my rebound for when BD breaks up with me. :cry

But on a more serious note, being a rebound does suck. :lmao

[Rain]

BD- yea, if he worded it like you did in the post it sounds like he doesn't really want to be in a relationship, something about it just seems like he mgiht just be looking for someone, not necesarily you


but thats why I'd say wait. After his life gets fixed and if he still wants to be with you, then I'd say go for it

gab00n- :lmao the guy is like 13 or 14 or so, he probably just doesn't know how to be in a relationship xD at that age there is no way he could


fortu- :rofl nice